It's because of Zichen that most days he doesn't disgust himself.

Xue Yang goes limp under his husband's touch, curled up against him just the way he likes. "I'll fight to keep you." But he also recognizes one thing, and another huff escapes. "But even if this place takes you from me...know that I won't change who I've become." Not even just because doing any less would hurt his daozhangs' memory. But because he likes who he's become.

He smiles into the next kiss and nuzzles their lips together even when it breaks, delighting in that panting for breath and rather pretty flush.

"You are no fool. We've both learned our lessons on what matters."