Never by half. All in or all out, that's how Xue Yang has always lived. How he survives. He gives everything he decides to do his all. Even if it ends with him wounded. It's never mattered before.

Now...it does.

The light touch, the gentle reminder aren't enough, for once, to make him pull away. Xue Yang only clings a little tighter. But then Xiao Xingchen promises him that he won't lose him either.

He feels...undone. Completely, utterly at a loss how to continue. How to find his footing again, when up and down hardly feel right. Doesn't matter. Not as long as Xingchen is safe.

Orders, to sit up. And a reason why, as well as a reason to do so. It still takes effort. Chest, heaving. Trembling making movement a challenge. But eventually he manages it, lips stubbornly pressed closed, head lowered but eyes fixed back on Xingchen.

Waiting. Hoping that he hasn't let go only to have his world shattered again. One. Last. Time.