He'd much rather watch Xingchen, but Xue Yang glances at Zichen again at the comment, then the question.
"He has the best," something they agree on, and there is undeniable affection as he smiles at Xingchen. He can't help it, doesn't even try. "He's the reason I'm trying." It's not easy. So many habits and instincts he's had to work on stomping down to something more acceptable. "And it doesn't diminish what I've done. I'll die for it whenever I return. Lan Wangji confirmed it before he left." So here is all he has, but that's fine.
Xue Yang faces Zichen again, forcing his arms to drop back to his sides even if he's terrified of this man shredding what happiness he's managed to gain here. "What do you want from me, Daozhang?"
But he falls quiet, listening, watching the two and feels his heart start to shrivel again. He understands Zichen. He'd lived the misery that life is without Xiao Xingchen. His jaw grits and he waits, warily wondering if Xingchen would be hurt again because of this.
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"He has the best," something they agree on, and there is undeniable affection as he smiles at Xingchen. He can't help it, doesn't even try. "He's the reason I'm trying." It's not easy. So many habits and instincts he's had to work on stomping down to something more acceptable. "And it doesn't diminish what I've done. I'll die for it whenever I return. Lan Wangji confirmed it before he left." So here is all he has, but that's fine.
Xue Yang faces Zichen again, forcing his arms to drop back to his sides even if he's terrified of this man shredding what happiness he's managed to gain here. "What do you want from me, Daozhang?"
But he falls quiet, listening, watching the two and feels his heart start to shrivel again. He understands Zichen. He'd lived the misery that life is without Xiao Xingchen. His jaw grits and he waits, warily wondering if Xingchen would be hurt again because of this.