Mysophobia is a demon he will never fully conquer. Of course he wants to hold Xingchen; of course he wants to be the one latching onto his waist and -
But it isn't as simple as Xue Yang makes it seem. And Song Lan hates himself for failing, his fingers curling into a hard fist. He forces himself to ignore Xue Yang and what his words mean. His pain is nothing compared to Xingchen's and he has no business judging either of their hearts.
Really, if Xingchen has been able to find happiness with another, that's good. He just wishes it hadn't been Xue Yang. Not after all of the horrors he committed. The temple, his eyes... Not to mention the crimes that had them chasing him in the first place.
Zichen helps his soulmate to stand, his hands gentle and warm on Xingchen's shoulders. The hand on his cheek makes him feel like crying, but he stubbornly holds the tears back. He won't be that weak in front of Xue Yang.
"You're too kind." his hand travels along Xingchen's arm and he clasps his hand ever so gently, "I'm here."
Noticing the squeeze, his lips tighten bitterly and he bows his head. The motion is echoed in his heart and it isn't a pleasant sensation. Has he been replaced? If so, he should go; he should leave them to their happiness.
"Xingchen, I - I don't want this to be difficult. If you're safe, that's all that matters." he glared at Xue Yang to make his point, "I don't mean to intrude."
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But it isn't as simple as Xue Yang makes it seem. And Song Lan hates himself for failing, his fingers curling into a hard fist. He forces himself to ignore Xue Yang and what his words mean. His pain is nothing compared to Xingchen's and he has no business judging either of their hearts.
Really, if Xingchen has been able to find happiness with another, that's good. He just wishes it hadn't been Xue Yang. Not after all of the horrors he committed. The temple, his eyes... Not to mention the crimes that had them chasing him in the first place.
Zichen helps his soulmate to stand, his hands gentle and warm on Xingchen's shoulders. The hand on his cheek makes him feel like crying, but he stubbornly holds the tears back. He won't be that weak in front of Xue Yang.
"You're too kind." his hand travels along Xingchen's arm and he clasps his hand ever so gently, "I'm here."
Noticing the squeeze, his lips tighten bitterly and he bows his head. The motion is echoed in his heart and it isn't a pleasant sensation. Has he been replaced? If so, he should go; he should leave them to their happiness.
"Xingchen, I - I don't want this to be difficult. If you're safe, that's all that matters." he glared at Xue Yang to make his point, "I don't mean to intrude."