farsickness | first steps in a new home

WHO: Wen Qing and OPEN
WHEN: Catch-all log for arrival and the days of settling in
WHAT: Various prompts around town (including continuations of tdm threads), and a dinner not!date - or choose your own adventure!
WHERE: Gazin and woods
WARNINGS: None so far

Arrival

One moment, Wen Qing is in a cold and damp dungeon cell clinging to her brother and desperately wishing she were anywhere else. Then, one bright light later, she is decidedly not. The crossroads at Gazin and even the sudden transport don’t bother her so much but try as she might, her frantic search in the woods and town just aren’t going to bring a lead to Wen Ning’s whereabouts.

The first thing Wen Qing notices when walking into the town of Gazin is that the people are utterly incomprehensible to her. That makes for some fun wandering around, her in her stained and dirty red robes, looking too pale and thin after months in the dungeons making a spectacle of herself.

Fortunately, she soon runs into a man named Bhalris, who uses a technique she doesn’t know to permit her to understand the locals. It's back to running around town then, calling the name of her brother Wen Ning with ever greater desperation as she hurries through streets and back alleys. "Where are you, Wen Ning? Ah Ning!"

In town

With this, things start going better. Well. Somewhat. Once she finds the inn, Wen Qing can be witnessed arguing with the innkeeper, pleading, “But I’m going to pay you! I just don’t have any coins on me! I arrived with nothing but the clothes on my back. But I'm going to earn money. And I’m not going to be here for long anyway, I need to return home. I just have to figure out where here is and then I’ll be gone.”

She does, in fact, quickly find a job at the apothecary, and cheaper lodgings above the store along with it. She can now be found working at the apothecary and selling its wares at the weekly market as well, as well as searching the woods around Gazin to gather ingredients. These are all just stepping stones, though. Her brother can't be found here, which means whatever brought her here brought only her - thus, she needs to find her way back to Yiling, a place nobody here has ever heard of.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

The hunt hadn't gone as well as he'd have liked, but his injuries weren't lifethreatening so he'd cleaned and bandaged himself, using some of his power to try and heal at least some of the damage before heading to work the next day.

Although he's definitely favoring his left side as he works, only pausing when he hears a familiar voice and wipes his hands off.

"..Wen-guniang."

She would be appalled to learn how hard he is on his body when there is no true need for it, but right now she is still too busy looking anywhere but at Jiang Cheng to notice him favoring his left.

"Jiang-zongzhu," she greets, her voice crisp with the need for professionalism. "I have come to add further details to my order. For the acupuncture needles." Her fingers flutter slightly at her sides, fingers smoothing her dress though it isn't even creased. Heavens, she feels ridiculous. The excuse is so weak now, so transparent. "But it's not important."

"Just give me the notes and I'll do my best, Wen-guinang." He moves towards her, pausing a few steps back, his gaze dropping to her hands.

"Is there anything else?"

She gets out the notes she had prepared, her gaze also lowered to avoid his. Her hands don't shake, she is far too self-possessed for that, but her fingers are itching with the urge to fidget. She resists it, her hands perfectly steady as she holds out the paper.

"I..." She takes a deep breath, her brows all scrunched up with the sheer effort of steeling herself. She gulps. "I'm sorry." A moment's pause. "For yesterday. For... ruining..." What exactly? What had it even been? "For causing you discomfort."

He takes the paper, tucks it into a pocket before his gaze drifts back to her face. "You should be able to talk about your sect, Wen-guniang. I just can't...speak about certain members and their actions at this point. I know how much time has passed from when my home burned, but it doesn't mean I want to speak about those days.

Not now. Maybe not ever, I don't know."

She gives a tiny nod, lips pressed together, trying her best not to be unreasonable and take it personally. This grief is all his and has nothing to do with her, she knows that and knows she has no claim to it - it just hurts when you want to reach out and offer comfort, but you can't, just because you are you.

"I'll talk about my sect. But... maybe not with you." Her fingers knot together. "Maybe we can speak of other things." Another gulp. She's never been a coward, this is no time to start. She meets his eyes, face steeled with determination. "If you're still willing to try?"

"You can talk about the members who weren't the main family, Wen-guniang. The ones who didn't destroy my life or my family, but yes, we can try." Talking about her family and her brother is fine, it's when they hit the main clan bloodline that he can't deal with it.

Not yet.

"I'm sorry I can't speak about that yet and it's not fair to burden you with the hatred I have for your sect in general when you've done nothing but try to help me and the others when you were able. I don't lay their crimes at your door, though. I just..." Jiang Cheng trails off, shakes his head.

"I need more time."

"You shouldn't have to apologize." Her voice is crisper again, there's that curt no-nonsense attitude which she likes to hide behind when showing vulnerability is too much, yet she tries her best not to be unkind about it. Her fingers twitch again with the desire to touch him. It would be so much easier, she thinks, if she dared to touch and soften her words with gentleness. "You don't owe anyone apologies or explanations for how you react to... to the losses you have suffered."

She takes a small step closer towards him, not wanting to get close enough that he might feel crowded but wanting to somehow show the urgency in her words.

"Please don't believe I hold your behavior against you. It's not easy. But I don't hold it against you... and you've never been cruel about it." Not even right after, when she cared for him. "Outright cruelty is the one thing I wouldn't stand for."

"Still, I was..." He trails off, his hands flexing at his sides, gaze drifting past her for a moment as he tries to find the words he wants to say. This has never been his strong point, not really. A-jie was always better at finding the right words but he's trying.

"That wasn't how I wanted yesterday to end. I just ...I couldn't talk about that and if I'd stayed, I might have done something I would have regretted."

Her brows knit again. Her hands flutter over her dress. "I understand," Wen Qing says, her voice a little quieter and softer, guard a little lowered to match his honesty, "and I appreciate your thoughtfulness." She purses her lips. "I understand you had to leave."

But it hurts. Being a Wen has cost her so much she should be used to it by now but your very presence causing pain to others is not something you can grow numb to, or if you can, then it's a skill she lacks.

She smiles a little sadly. "I would have wished for a different ending, too."

"....Maybe we can try again." After a long moment of silence, Jiang Cheng watching her for a moment before he takes another step forward, a little carefully.

"If you'd be..agreeable to that."

Her eyes widen a fraction when he does not just make this offer but steps closer as well. It there are chasms between them that can't be bridged by willpower alone, it feels all the more meaningful to at least choose to close the distance where they have the choice.

"I would." She lifts her eyes to meet his and permits the cautious hope she has been nursing since their first run-in in the smithy to shine through. "I would like to learn with you how we can speak to another without causing hurt." She straightens her shoulder, finding some of that resolve of hers again to give voice to thoughts she would usually prefer to keep to herself. "There will be learning. There are too many pitfalls to fool ourselves into believing we won't err again. But I want to try."

"I likely won't be as kind as you deserve either." Because there will be times he loses control, lets the rage he carries speak in ways that may or may not be warranted and his expression twists slightly.

"Self control isn't exactly my best feature, Wen-guniang, and my temper tends to get the best of me at times." Especially when it came to certain matters, but he's trying to rein it in here.

Because it serves no good for him to have that little control. His position here isn't as secure as the one he held at home, after all.

It's not exactly a surprising revelation to her but it still drives home the point, to see Jiang Cheng openly give voice to his own flaws. She lowers her gaze, eyebrows furrowed as she ponders her response.

"I won't stand for cruelty," she reiterates, as she had told him before in the forest. "I've seen too much of that, and endured enough of it. I won't when I have the choice to walk away instead." She edges a little closer and this time she does reach for his hand, though it is a mere brush of her fingers against his. "But I'm not afraid of difficulties. I wouldn't be here if I wanted easy... and I'm not easy either." Her face twists into an almost-smile. "My self-control is excellent. But I'm not terribly good at... at being warm."

She runs too cold where he runs too hot and that's off-putting to people, too.

first steps in a new home - Wen Qing 001

Re: the next day

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject