farsickness | [Worldly Experience

Entry tags:

xue yang | the untamed

[Worldly Experience - Open]

WHO: Song Zichen & Open
WHEN: 07/04 and onward.
WHAT: Tentative exploration.
WHERE: In and around Gazin.
WARNINGS: TBD?

[Road]

He is a quiet, generally patient man who likes to keep to himself. However since he is not alone in this world and since he is genuinely curious about everything, Zichen leaves the home he shares with Xiao Xingchen and Xue Yang early one morning. Setting his feet on a path that will take him through the town's center, he walks at an easy pace, expression neutral.

Should he encounter anyone on the road, he will pause and bow before addressing them. Furthermore, should he spy any sign of trouble, he will draw Fuxue, his sword, and seek to intervene until the truth is discovered. He is a man who believes, fervently, in justice.

[Tavern]

The sound of voices and music will lure many to a tavern, however Zichen would much rather move in the opposite direction. He has to force himself to step into the establishment, his hands balled into tight fists at his sides. Avoiding contact with anyone - and even going so far as to not sit down unless he absolutely must - he looks around the place cautiously.

What sort of people inhabit Gazin? There is a light tug on his robe and he turns to find himself face to face with a woman. A...well-endowed...woman. Flushing darkly, he bows his head and focuses his eyes on his feet.

"I am only here to learn." he steps back to give her a proper bow, yet his luck has abandoned him. Someone chooses to walk behind him at that moment, knocking him forward. His head comes to rest, for a split second, against said woman's breasts. Zichen straightens immediately, flushing darker than ever.

But then he pales instead. He looks like he wants to flee; shock is all that holds him so stiffly in place.

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Zichen blushes so beautifully!

But he worries him, too. Xue Yang doesn't like how he's breathing. He gives the other man's waist a gentle squeeze before tugging him through the crowd - at least making an attempt to be careful in pushing people out of the way rather than using kicks and punches as he would have before.

Once outside, he doesn't pull away, only turns his full attention to Zichen. He rubs encouragingly over the other's back, but doesn't think to pull away and give him space.

Then Zichen does that and his eyes grow wide and he actually flushes before smiling brightly. "I promised A-Chen I would take it easy. I'm tired of being so idle, I'm fine." But he also doesn't batt those hands away.

He trusts Xue Yang will help him get outside and, at the moment, he isn't too picky how that is accomplished. Swallowing roughly, he drags in a shaky breath the second the tavern is behind them. He leans into Xue Yang a little more, grateful for him.

And this isn't the first time he has felt that way, either.

The bright smile erases some of his lingering anxiety and his hand rises to brush against Xue Yang's cheek.

"You need to. I understand boredom, but I don't want anything ripping open." he tries to sound stern, however the tone comes out too gentle. His gratitude is making him biased.

There are still a few toes stomped on along the way. A few elbows in tender bits. But then they're outside and he likes focusing on his daozhangs. Xue Yang leans into the hand on his cheek, ignoring the sweet words for the far sweeter tone that makes his heart skip a beat.

He rubs his cheek against Zichen's hand like a cat.

"Nothing will reopen. It's been a month."

But he also likes the attention and care Zichen and Xingchen have been giving him.

"I am almost completely healed. I need to move around to finish the last bit." To regain strength and stamina that being bed-ridden for weeks has sapped away.

He has a point. Movement is good and being too long in bed can tax the body just as badly as exercising too much. Perhaps it is because Xue Yang reacts so openly and unashamedly to his care that Zichen likes showing it. He doesn't know why he feels so protective over him or why there is a perpetual ache in the center of his chest when they stand this close.

"Don't get into any fights." he manages a frown, "I'll go on walks with you. The evening air feels nice."

Part of him expects Xue Yang to dislike the idea and yet...he almost hopes...that he doesn't.

The protectiveness goes both ways. Xue Yang rubs a gentle hand over Zichen's chest, studying his face for lingering signs of unease from being crowded.

But then! Then! Zichen offers to go on walks with him! He draws in a quick breath and doesn't try to hide the hopeful look in his eyes.

"You will? You would do that? I promise! No fights!"

Anything at all if it means one or both of his daozhangs will spend more time with him. Without coercion or manipulation or threat. Because they want to.

His gaze lowers briefly, suddenly a bit shy. "And maybe...even after I'm fully healed?"

The ice that he has depended on for so long, to hide behind, to protect him, is beginning to melt. Xue Yang can be like Spring sunshine when he likes, but he can just as easily turn to a storm. Zichen wants a Spring with no storms for all of their sake.

"I will." he promises, finding his calm and his strength again. Zichen had presumed, for some time, that he was helping, in his own way, to heal Xue Yang. Yet it seems to go both ways.

Xue Yang is healing him - just by being himself.

"I would like that." Zichen raises the other man's injured - and braced - hand, resting it against his chest, "I give you my word, Xue Yang. We will spend our evenings exploring this new world together."

There'd been a taste of a storm when he'd found his poor Zichen so flustered and uncomfortable. But Zichen had tempered it, and Xue Yang...likes being able to give that power to these two precious men.

Joy shines bright in another smile at the promise. He doesn't flinch when his mangled hand is claimed and moved to the other man's chest - if anyone has the right to touch where and what he wishes, it's Zichen and Xingchen. They can do anything they want with him and he wouldn't protest. He's outright told them as much.

Instead of abusing that power...They care for him. And it ties him that much tighter to them. Calms the vengeful pain of fury that's set in for so long that had driven him to lash out.

"Thank you!"

"...and if Xingchen wishes to join us, would you approve?" his lips twist in amusement as if he knows the answer. The love that exists, so clearly, between Xingchen and Xue Yang makes spending time together a joy, no doubt. There are times that he selfishly likes to divide them, seeking their sole attention so that he might know them better.

So that he can...yes...love them better, too. A drop of pure warmth falls into his stomach and spreads outward, encompassing him. He hesitates, unable to find the words and instead...

"Thank you for coming to my aid in the tavern. I did not intend to get so close to her."

Xue Yang tilts his head, grinning at the question and how those lips twist in actual humor. "If A-Chen wants to join us, I would do this" he leans in to steal a very soft kiss. He doesn't care who sees.

The grin softens. "You are far too good a man, Daozhang," he murmurs admiringly. "I will always step in when you look like you want help." He'll be the blade and shield for his daozhangs. No hesitation.

"Are you feeling better? Do you need some water?"

Lips can be so soft and so adorably plump. Like berries that are overripe. Zichen holds his breath, shocked yet willing to accept the kiss. Before Xue Yang can put too much space between them, he asks in a whisper:

"Was that for me or Xingchen?"

Maybe he isn't such a good man after all. He had cut down Xingchen with cruel words and now he seeks to intrude on his relationship. Ashamed, Zichen tries to fight off the effects Xue Yang's words are having on him.

"I was...relieved...to hear your voice." he admits, "I don't wish to return just for water. There is a well we could drink from in the center of town."

It's not their first kiss. Their first kiss still stalks his dreams and waking memory, steals his breath away when he allows himself to think of nothing else but stolen kisses. So the whispered words have his breath catch before he laughs with delight.

"That was for A-Chen. This is for you."

Well Zichen asked, so...he leans in to kiss the taller man again, just as soft, just as sweet. He loves Xingchen. They both do.

But...He knows himself well enough to know he also loves Song Lan now. Maybe it's wrong. But when has that ever stopped him?

Xue Yang smiles, pulling back and soaks up the shy words. "The well water is sweet and cool."

No, it isn't, and that has made his craving worse. If it had been one, he might have forgotten it. But how can he forget the intensity and the tension that lies between them? He used to think it was due to pain and anger - and perhaps it was - but it's something else - and just as strong as the earlier pain and anger - now.

Zichen's eyes widen and he leans in, carefully cupping Xue Yang's cheeks against his palms. The kiss chips away further at his peace of mind and he shudders.

"It isn't tainted; it comes from deep underground in a hidden spring." he takes hold of Xue Yang's hand and begins to walk in the direction of the well, "What comes from nature is pure. I prefer it to any wine or beer."

Edited 2020-07-05 06:50 (UTC)

They are men of passion, aren't they? Pain, anger, and bitterness had lain between them. But now? Now it's something else. Something far better and sweeter.

Xue Yang doesn't shy from hands cupping his face, nor pull away when Zichen deepens the kiss. Only sighs a little into him and wraps his arms around the other's waist again until Zichen pulls back.

Pulls back...and takes his hand. He's left speechless, following a step behind until he takes a quicker step to catch up, and delight floods his smile and sparkles his eyes.

"I don't need alcohol now that I have you and A-Chen." He hasn't drunk all that much at all since coming to Gazin. Even during that early horrible week when he was parted from Xingchen.

Passion can be expected from someone like Xiao Xingchen or Xue Yang, yet it is something new for Song Lan. Or maybe it isn't? His passion has only been buried deep, under a sheet of ice since childhood. His life was simpler that way.

Xue Yang, in all his terror and all his sweetness, has woken him. His thumbs brush lightly over the other man's cheekbones and the kiss lingers on his lips long after they part.

He doesn't want to let him go, so he entwines their fingers and keeps his steps easy to follow. A look of pride touches his features and he briefly rests their heads together.

"It is better for you to drink sparingly." he has seen what becomes of men who drown themselves in alcohol, "And I like you better sober."

Buried passion. But Xue Yang has seen Zichen's golden core in all it's beauty. He's proud of drawing the fire out. Stoking it hotter and brighter. He nuzzles those fingers when the kiss breaks.

Zichen makes him want. Xingchen too. They make him greedy for affection. Of course he happily threads his fingers with Zichen's! And that look of pride at what he says warms his heart and face.

He giggles and squeezes Zichen's hand. "Have you noticed? The only alcohol we have in the house is for wounds or pain. Otherwise it's tea and water." He can easily get drunk on kisses! Much better than any liquor.

That's what Xue Yang does to him too: he makes him want and crave and feel desperate for things that usually frighten him. His head dips at the nuzzling and he blushes. Their fingers slide together seductively and he likes how their palms are aligned.

It makes him consider what other parts could be aligned too.

"Xue Yang." he murmurs, capturing those happy, proud words against his lips as he kisses the other man again. This kiss is no soft, sweet reminder of affection; there is passion behind it and when it breaks, Zichen is panting.

"Forgive me." his throat feels tight and he hurries to the well that lies before them, settling himself on the edge. His legs feel shaky and -

He knows what he wants. Xue Yang would probably give it to him too, but that's wrong. He would be taking advantage and drifting into territory that belongs solely to Xingchen.

They seem to fit together in a way he'd thought only possible with Xingchen. But then he'd come to know Zichen, and discovered there's a reason Zichen and Xingchen are soulmates. He'd thought briefly that he'd be tossed aside, but he hasn't been.

He's been welcomed close instead.

The fierce kiss steals his breath away. Has him leaning into the strong body, heart suddenly racing and soaring in a way he's rarely felt before. So when it breaks, Zichen isn't the only one left panting for breath. And then Zichen...flees. Before Xue Yang can stop him.

It leaves him momentarily uncertain if he should follow, but...Zichen had promised...He's slow in taking a seat beside the taller man, but when he does, he's close enough their shoulders press together.

"Zichen. Is what we want...so wrong?" We. Because he wants it too. He presses any advantage he has to rest his head on Zichen's shoulder, snuggling close and hoping he won't be shoved away.

His body tingles, the promise of pleasure coaxing him down a path where there will be no return. Xue Yang is changing him and though he is the one to flee, he is fiercely relieved when the other man follows him. And snuggles close.

We. He had said we. So he wouldn't be taking advantage? Zichen licks his lips, finds the taste of Xue Yang there and sighs, defeated.

"Only if one of us turns selfish. Only if by being together, you and I break Xingchen's heart." he voices his fears breathlessly, Xue Yang's warmth sinking through the fabric of his robes, "I love him and I - " he closes his eyes tightly and remembers the price of being cowardly or cruel, "I want you. I have no experience."

What if he is a disappointment?

Zichen and Xingchen are changing Xue Yang too. He's gone down that path of change willingly. For them.

He still isn't pushed away, so dares once more to reclaim the hand lost when Zichen ran and listens. He knows his own selfish heart and he huffs out a breath. Almost a scoff.

"I'm a selfish man, Zichen. I'm trying not to be. But why don't we go to A-Chen? See if he's ready to join us?"

He lifts his head enough to rest his chin on Zichen's shoulder. "I still want to marry him. But now...I...I want to marry you, too. Both of you." His cheeks flush but he doesn't back down, though it feels like his heart is visible and easy to shatter.

"When I first kissed A-Chen, he asked me to be patient for him. Maybe he's ready now."

Xue Yang is a testament to how much a man can transform if given the right encouragement. Zichen is proud of him, yet he has no right to be. Xue Yang - and Xingchen - did all of the work and now he is reaping the benefits. How could he ever push either of them away?

The huff confuses him and he searches the other man's face for an answer.

"...yes, that would be best." he smiles despite his heightened anxiety at the weight on his shoulder - as well as the handsome face looking at him so appealingly. The smile shifts to a look of utmost surprise a second later. Xue Yang wants to...marry...him?

"Are you asking me?" Zichen slides an arm around the other man's waist, pressing their foreheads flush, "Ask me, Xue Yang. ...A-Yang."

He's received nothing but encouragement and support from these two men since coming to Gazin - he doesn't hold that one miserable week against Xingchen. He's blossomed under it.

Xue Yang smiles back at the agreement and Zichen's handsome smile. And then the surprise has his cheeks flush darker but he doesn't back down or away. Just waits, holding his breath for whatever answer Zichen might give. The arm curling around his waist, the forehead pressed to his, and then the question and request...

He threads their fingers together, thumb brushing over the back of Zichen's hand as he stares back at the other man. There's an almost shy look to eyes and smile.

"Will you marry me...Zichen? A-Lan? And A-Chen, if he will have either or both of us?"

The answer is more of an expelled breath than a spoken word. Zichen forms his lips and tongue into the single syllable, passing the message onto Xue Yang via a kiss. He cradles the back of the other man's head, fingers twining and twisting around the long black strands of his hair. His other arm keeps Xue Yang from falling, pressing him firmly against his side.

Yes. Zichen's soul answered; his heart answered. Happy tears roll down his cheeks and he breaks the kiss with supreme reluctance, drawing Xue Yang into his arms. He should be ashamed of showing so much emotion, but there isn't room for anything but love and gratitude.

"Y-Yes." he chokes out in case the message wasn't received.

The kiss - this kiss - steals his breath away but he doesn't care. He presses into it with a wordless desperate sound, arms curling tight around Zichen as he accepts, takes all that the other man gives him.

The kiss ending draws a mewl of dismay even as he pants for breath and burrows into Zichen's arms. He'd almost forgotten he'd asked a question - the question - because of the force of emotion that almost swept him away. Then the verbal answer both startles him, then makes him laugh, though the laugh is a bit shaky.

Then he laughs again and frees one hand to brush tears from Zichen's handsome face. "I'll be a good husband to you and A-Chen!"

He groans upon hearing that mewl, a burst of pure sensation shooting through him - like the finest, most pleasurable arrow - and settling in the pit of his stomach. If this is one of love's wounds, he will bear it gladly! Zichen tightens his arms around Xue Yang, lips swollen and parted.

A laugh bubbles up inside of him too, but it has been too long since he let go of his control that much. The sound never leaves his lips, yet his eyes shine and his smile is tender.

"A-Yang, I will be a good husband to you and Xingchen." he leans into the hand, "Whether Xingchen is ready or not, you know my answer. The ceremony is for the world to know of our bond. You and I already understand one another."

Ooooooh, but Xue Yang is determined to eventually earn this man's laughter! For now it's enough to bask in his smile and tenderly kiss swollen lips. Simply because he can.

Because he feels like maybe...he's getting something he wants. Without more bloodshed.

He grins, and maybe there's a bit of an impish edge to it, but there's only affection in his eyes. Well. Affection and desire. "You are already very good to us. He would be silly to refuse you."

He will! Zichen can't deny him anything at this point; he just needs to be caught off-guard in order to allow himself the luxury of laughter. He makes a low sound when their lips touch and he feels himself growing hotter and...harder. Flushing, he puts a hand on his lap to make sure the...effect...is hidden.

"He has been through a great deal. As have you." he gazes at Xue Yang protectively, "What time I have been given is yours...and his. We won't live in regret."

No more than Xue Yang can deny Xingchen or Zichen. He hums at the sweet kiss, then grins at the obvious (to him) display but...says nothing. Only nudges his nose to Zichen's flushed cheek. It makes him feel oddly good to know the effect he has on this valiant man. But that Zichen holds himself back.

For now.

That protection in Zichen's gaze is mirrored as he grows serious again. "I'm tired of regret. I like it here because I have this chance. I'm taking it. You and Xingchen have done so much, despite what I did to you. I won't let harm come to either of you ever again." Not while he lives. "Even if neither of you agreed to marrying me, I would protect you."

Soon, he thinks, he will show Xue Yang everything; how he feels, what he desires, what the other man does to him... All of it. But he wants to tell Xingchen the truth first. As it stands, he isn't sure, even if Xingchen rejects them, that he can stop what he feels for Xue Yang.

If he can make someone else happy, shouldn't he? If he can be happy in return, isn't that as things should be?

Smiling softly, he turns and brings up a bucket of water, filling a simple wooden cup. He holds it out to Xue Yang first.

"I believe you." he presses his lips to Xue Yang's cheek, "I understand that you were a man in pain. Pain made me do something horrible too. I can't imagine feeling a lifetime of it and not acting on it. The man you are under that pain is good, A-Yang. If Xingchen is a gentle breeze and I am like frost, you are like the first ray of sunshine after Winter's chill."

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