farsickness | Arrival of another Chinese wizard!

Entry tags:

xue yang | the untamed

Arrival of another Chinese wizard!

WHO: Xue Yang + Various/Open!
WHEN: First couple days
WHAT: Finishing up TDM threads, plus fresh stuff!
WHERE: Around Gazin and the forest
WARNINGS: The Untamed general warnings aka ghosts, necromancy, dead things, killing said dead things, possible torture....and then there's Xue Yang who is kind of insane but trying to get better. :D EDIT: Gaaaay in thread with Xiao Xingchen. XD Just kissing though.

Arrival/Around Town:

Learning a whole new language in this way is interesting to say the least, but does it matter when it's useful? Yes, because he wants to learn how to do it too! Xue Yang plans to study that sort of magic if and whenever given the opportunity. Finding Xiao Xingchen alive again is enough to get his cooperation though, even without certain others playing into him promising not to go around stabbing just anyone. It's boring but...worth it.

Now though, he wanders through the town, sword sheathed at his back as he strolls along each street and alley, poking his head through open or unlocked doors to see what sort of people are doing what here. When he sees something he wants, or thinks Xingchen would like (or even Wen Qing...) he buys it before moving on.

Forest:

It can get boring in around the town though, especially when he has to behave. So forgive him, Wangji, Xingchen, for going out beyond the border of the town to let off steam and play with the other monsters out there again. Besides, it plays a part in keeping the people in town safer, right? He's being nice and helpful! Like a 'proper cultivator'! Instead of the half-crazy hooligan he's better known as, if not flat out rabid attack dog.

He mostly just uses his sword though, slashing, cutting, stabbing at everything that moves around him, often with a yell or mocking laughter to spur others on into moving foolishly and giving him an even better opening.

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There's so much judgement in their society. Even Xue Yang has heard it. Witnessed it. But it hadn't changed his heart, when he'd finally felt his heart shatter when the one who'd claimed it died. Too late. Far too late to do anything.

And now...he has a chance. He'll take it with both hands, hold on to it as long as he can. As tight as he can manage. Protect this precious light to his last breath, no matter how much it ends up hurting.

Xue Yang stands close enough then that slipping an arm loosely around Xingchen's waist just feels natural. And listening to that sweet, soft voice tell him that he makes Xingchen happy makes anything less impossible. He leans his forehead against the other man's, hand still light on perfect cheek, fingertips a gentle caress despite the slight roughness of a hand used to hard work.

"I'm not going anywhere. And I don't break my word."

He's serious. It doesn't fully hit Xingchen until then, when he feels the arm sneak around his waist. There's something serpentine about it, but he doesn't feel the danger, only the embrace. He hears only the sincerity of his words and feels the affection when his companion touches their foreheads together.

It's a lot, and one of the things that life on the mountain hadn't prepared him for. The other is obviously more experienced in things than he gave him credit for. Xingchen fears that he'll disappoint him at how slowly he would need to take these feelings - and how seriously.

But they've made promises, and he's chosen to trust him.

"If we don't start cooking soon, our dinner will become our breakfast."

And okay, that could be taken a certain way, but this is Xiao Xingchen here.

...Deflection.

Xue Yang flinches slightly, fingers curling away from Xingchen's cheek and arm dropping away from the other's waist. Disappointment is an old friend, just as anger is. But.

But. He makes himself think.

This man is...naive. Innocent in so many ways. He's probably never thought of anything like this. And...Xingchen has already told him that he makes him happy. So he lets the disappointment and flash of anger out with a breath, then leans in to press one last soft kiss to the other's lips before he pulls back.

It's hard. To move away now. To pull back and stop when all he wants to do is hold Xingchen close to him, show him all the ways flesh can find pleasure.

...He won't do to Xiao Xingchen what was done to him though.

"I...Daozhang...I want to keep making you happy. But if you ever want me to go...I will go."

Even if he knows it will destroy him. Doesn't he deserve that, too?

"I've disappointed you."

Xingchen can hear it in his breath, feel it in the way that the other withdraws from him. It makes him frown. He didn't want to do that. It's just that Xue Yang's thoughts are correct - he doesn't really know what to do in this situation. This is the closest he's been to another person since...since Zichen. But Xingchen knew him in a different way. Their bond was instant and natural. Spiritual, but not physical.

He reaches for his hand, finding Xue Yang's wrist instead, mere inches above his damaged pinky.

"Don't say such a thing." His voice is soft, gentle. It doesn't betray the way that his normally steady heart has started to race. Supper is forgotten now. He's made him feel like this, like he's unwanted and to be chased away on a whim like a stray dog. "I'm the one who doesn't know how to make you happy. Please be patient with me."

He can learn. The same way he learned how to kiss, stepping in and leaning closer to be the one who kisses him this time.

Xue Yang tries to laugh it off, but for once it falls flat, listless. "It's fine. I'm...I won't force you." He wants to do better, be better this time. For Xiao Xingchen. This selfish monster of a man has promised himself to do anything, everything he can to make the very best of this second, marvelous chance.

But the hand latching onto his wrist has him freeze, eyes wide and he finds it strangely hard to breathe. But he listens, lips parted as he stares at this beautiful, perfect man as he's asked to be patient with him.

...And then he's the one being kissed. Interrupts all thoughts. But then he presses just a little into the kiss before forcing himself to stop the addicting kisses, a wavering little laugh shaking his shoulders.

"...As much time as you need." There's a smile back in his voice.

He can hear when something is off in his voice, in his laughter. Xue Yang is a master at lying, but all it takes is one little slip to give how he truly feels away.

Xingchen is relieved when he doesn't push him away, the way he thought he might. He'd have that right. Maybe it seems like he's toying with him, but he wouldn't. He'd never. And then he hears his laughter, genuine this time, and Xingchen exhales heavily before smiling himself.

"I'm not very worldly. Such things must go over my head. But...I know that someone like you deserves consideration too. I wouldn't want you to have regrets."

He feels raw, around Xingchen. Like his very heart is exposed to the other man. It's getting harder to maintain the fiction that he's just a nobody, that they'd never met before Xingchen had come across a wounded man and nursed him back to health.

It can't last, he keeps telling himself. Some day- soon, he knows, his identity will be revealed. And he will be pushed away. Discarded again, like so many times before. But this time...this time he'd go quietly. As long as Xiao Xingchen remains alive...what happens to Xue Yang doesn't matter.

Later.

Now, he finds himself smiling again, unable to help himself whenever the other man laughs or smiles. "You don't have to be." His voice is back to normal, for the man Xingchen knows. "I don't regret the time we spend together, Daozhang. Not even for a second."

"I think that says more about your heart than it does about me." Xingchen laughs softly. There is no reason that he can think of for someone to enjoy his company so much. He only has his blade to offer. That he even feels...a special way about Xingchen too is even more unbelievable.

He touches his fingers to Xue Yang's chest for a moment, feeling the beat of his heart against his fingertips. Yes, here is where the credit belongs, not in a dull man like Xiao Xingchen.

He sighs happily, still holding him by the wrist to guide him back. They can work on the rest of dinner together, he'll try to make it enjoyable. Xingchen hums as he works, stopping when a smile crosses his lips.

"It was very brave of you, and very sweet to give me your first kiss. It's truly a treasure."

He's blushing so cutely too.

Xue Yang grins, laughing with him. At his innocence. He feels his heart speed up when Xingchen touches his chest, holding still as he marvels at the other man. He'll destroy himself for this man, happily. Leap in and get it done, if that's what it takes to make him happy.

His free hand comes up and he teases at the cloth covering Xingchen's heart, not hard enough to really even disturb the cloth. Just enough to be felt. Because he desperately wants to touch, to hold, to keep this man. This peace. But it's not his right, these are all stolen moments. But he's greedy for them.

He lets himself be turned and guided to where Xingchen wants him, and sets to work beside him. Arms occasionally bumping together, not that he minds at all (maybe even done on purpose, who can say?) The comment has him blink over at the other man, seeing the adorable blush that distracts him enough another admission slips out.

"...The first kiss I've wanted to give. I couldn't resist. I can't resist you, Daozhang." The last bit is an attempt at his usual tease, but he means every word.

The first kiss I've wanted to give. Xingchen tilts his head at that. He's not sure what that phrasing means, exactly, but it still makes him frown.

The words that follow make him laugh again though, even when Xue Yang is so very serious about them. He finishes with their meal preparations, putting everything on to cook first before turning towards the other man.

There's suddenly a sweet in the palm of his hand, a shiny wrapped candy. Their tradition has not been forgotten. Xingchen smiles and offers a playful challenge.

"You can choose it or me, but not both. Which is it?"

Blind in every way. But Xingchen thinks, how can it be a contest? Of course he'll choose the candy.

He grins as he always does at the other's laughter. He can't be doing everything wrong if he's able to make Xingchen laugh like this, right?

Xue Yang of course starts to reach for the candy when it appears, but then goes still at the options presented to him. He could be angry with such a choice, but instead he shakes his head with an amused little laugh.

"...I choose you. Your kisses are sweeter than any candy."

Of course it's not a contest. He steps forward, hand dropping away from the sweet, and leans in to kiss that smiling mouth again.

He's doing a good number of things right and there lies the problem. Because Xiao Xingchen will soon be forced to decide if this was even real, if something that started from a lie can be anything but a lie. He'll have to question himself for his happiness with a murderer, for his own weakness, for his own inability to completely scrub so many moments from his mind and soft heart.

Xue Yang's choice is a surprise. Xingchen thought he could love nothing more than candy. It gave him a way of contributing to the other's happiness too, one piece at a time. But he chooses him instead, another kiss to his lips while the sweet goes untouched. I choose you... Those words, they mean something to someone whose family and bonds have everything to do with choice instead of blood or sect.

His fingers curl around the candy. He's flustered by the time Xue Yang pulls back, emotion splashing a little bit of pink across all the white. Xingchen focuses on his heartbeat, on recovering.

"I guess I can have this then."

He unwraps the candy with another teasing little smile, but holds it to Xue Yang's lips after all.

Only a matter of time before the veil is taken from around this little dream. But even then, Xue Yang knows he is helpless when it comes to Xiao Xingchen. Even if he's pushed away, he'll find ways to keep looking after this precious man.

Xue Yang doesn't step back just yet, just watches the other's expression as it shifts and pink flashes over pale cheeks again. He ignores the candy- he can always get candy now. Xingchen...is far more valuable. As many memories of this dream as he can make, he will.

He doesn't even try to stop Xingchen from unwrapping the candy, expecting the sweet to vanish past lips he's stolen kisses from. "Sweets for the sweet-" he starts to chirp, cutting himself off when it's pressed to his lips instead. His eyes are wide again, heart leaping in painful hope.

Does Xingchen even know how playful he's being? How flirtatious? Probably not.

His lips pull the sweet in, though he cheekily dares to lick at those fingers as they pull back. He smiles, breath shuddering out as he resists pulling Xingchen to him again.

"I hardly deserve both, Daozhang!"

He has some idea, though he thinks of it more as playing than being flirtatious. He wouldn't even begin to know how to flirt. But Xingchen does feel the brush of his tongue when he offers him the candy. He's willing to dismiss it as an accident before hearing that shuddery intake of breath.

It makes his own breath catch a little.

"You weren't greedy. You chose fairly. And I chose to give this to you."

Maybe it's a lesson. There were rules, and Xue Yang played by them, and he ended up with everything he wanted.

Call it a game, call it flirting, Xue Yang doesn't care. He's enjoying it. Enjoying this chance to be close to Xingchen again, to show him there can be a little more in life.

He hears the catch in the other's breath and it makes his heart sing.

...Can't last. Selfish. Greedy. Tarnishing this perfect, beautiful man...But he can't stop now. Not until it's over.

He reaches up to take Xingchen's hand, touch light and gentle, easily tugged free of. "Thank you for my gifts, Daozhang. They're very sweet."

He won't tug free of it. He hasn't given him a reason to want to. If anything, Xingchen notices and approves of how gentle it is.

"You're welcome." He's smiling, happy to have given him something that he enjoyed.

"We should still eat then. If you want to go with me, you'll need more than candy in you."

Not yet. Not for as long as he can manage.

He lets fingertips tease over Xingchen's delicate fingers and laughs.

"Dinner will be ready soon, but not yet. And I want to go with you," he modulates the last sentence to be more a pout, though can't help or deny the laughter that sticks anyway.

"I promise to be quiet so you don't laugh and miss."

Xingchen shakes his head like he's disapproving, but he's never denied letting his friend accompany him. He has no reason to start now.

"I just don't want anything to happen to you."

He says it quietly. It's different from night hunting alone, where he's the only one at risk. That's why he always at least suggests that Xue Yang stay home. That's why he doesn't want to laugh and miss, especially with him right there. Xingchen folds his free hand over his.

"What should we do until dinner?"

His chest clenches at the quiet words. Xue Yang knows Xingchen wouldn't say them if he knew...Wouldn't say any of it, if he knew.

But he doesn't.

So he chuckles and steps close again, boldly daring to wrap his arms around the other man's waist.

"Nothing will, because I'll be with you."

Xue Yang hums as if thinking. "You said we could dance again. Why not now? I don't need music if it's with you, Daozhang."

But there's the thing - he would say them. Even if he knew that it was Xue Yang, a murderer and a liar, he would defend him from monsters. He would give him a drink of water if he was thirsty. He would stop a knife from going into his back.

Xue Yang deserves justice, nothing more and nothing less.

"You can dance without music?" His smile turns into laughter at the suggestion. It's such a funny idea, his giggles don't stop for a moment. But they both did enjoy themselves that night. Xingchen places a hand on his shoulder and nods. "You'll be my music. I'll follow you."

So many truths to be revealed, learned, and accepted. Or discarded, denied, thrown out.

Xue Yang grins at the laugh, pulling Xingchen just a little closer (though mindful not to let the half-glove on his left hand be too noticeable). And he starts moving them in silly little circles away from the stove when the other man agrees.

"Your laughter is my music!" He sounds playful, but he means it. He'll dance to Xiao Xingchen's laugh any time.

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Arrival of another Chinese wizard!

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