farsickness | They were all that mattered.

Entry tags:

xue yang | the untamed

They were all that mattered.

Who: Song Zichen + Xue Yang, + Xiao Xingchen & + Open
When: Throughout February.
What: Horseback riding, bonding, doing various tasks around town.
Where: Gazin
Warning(s): Possible sexiness for the first prompt. Will update with anything else that needs to be added.

[Xue Yang]

"A-Yang, will you come with me?" Zichen is at the foot of the stairs, a cloak draped over his arm, "I think...it might be easier...if I had company?"

He likes the mare his husband chose for him - she is beautiful and sweet - but he still feels a wave of anxiety each time he climbs onto the saddle. Xue Yang, oddly and completely unexpectedly, has become a comfort for him. When his anxiety level is high, he reaches for him, remembering to breathe once they have spoken or touched.

Funny, touch used to frighten him. Now he seeks it openly. But not from just anyone.

"Please?"

[Xiao Xingchen]

Zichen gathers his courage and seeks out Xingchen, his soulmate, his better half. One of them, actually. They are overdue for some time together. Once he finds the other man, he approaches him gently.

"Xingchen..." he says the name with such warmth and love, "Will you take a walk with me? I promise I will keep us warm."

Since his fear of touch no longer stands in his way, he slips an arm around the other man, wanting him close. This feels like a dream. Maybe it is one.

[Open]

No matter where he goes, Zichen cuts a striking figure. From his black robes and ornately braided hair to the sword he carries on his back, he stands out to say the least. But he will be seen doing rather domestic tasks, helping where there is a need around Gazin. He doesn't say much, however his hands and his expressions are gentle and he always bows low when meeting someone new.

"Ah, what are you doing here?"

He is currently seeing to a pet cat that has gotten loose. A fussy meow answers his question and Zichen smiles, reaching under a very cold - and frozen! - bush to retrieve the poor feline. Then he tucks her into his robes and is rewarded with a happy purr.

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Zichen loves how gentle Xue Yang can be with Xingchen...and himself. When he was stabbed, his husband's hands had been so gentle and his arms had been a safe place for him to heal. All three of them are orphans, yet that hasn't stopped them from trying (and succeeding) to make a family of their own. One that won't disappear.

He lifts Xue Yang's hand and places it over his beating heart.

"I have given you this, A-Yang. I can be a wicked taskmaster now and then in exchange." he feels the pressure on his shoulder and leans his head to the side, nuzzling his beloved's soft hair, "I held out my hand to you. That is all. The rest has been your efforts."

And those efforts are nothing short of awe-inspiring.

He loves getting to be sweet to these two men, especially because they've returned it and then some. Xue Yang chose to change what he did to support them, to stop worrying his husband so much, and what he'd ended up doing is so much better. He's learned so much from Merlan! And she'll be teaching him how to farm in the next couple months.

He quiets again when his hand is moved over to press against his beloved's heart, and those sweet words have him hum softly. "I've given you mine, too." He smiles at the sweet nuzzling.

"You held out your hand. That's more than pretty much anyone else had ever done. And you haven't taken it away, like everyone else has."

He is proud beyond words of his A-Yang and he can't possibly have enough of his smiles and his affection. Furthermore, Zichen has seen for himself that his husband's golden core is repairing itself and becoming stronger. Emotions are tied into that process after all. If he can manage to keep his A-Yang happy, how strong will he become?

Zichen wants to see.

"I'll protect it." he promises in a deep voice, "And you. I won't take my hand away. I'll hold it out for as long as you need."

Pulling the mare to a halt, he frowns at some birds pecking intently at a frozen pond. Water is hard to come by in weather like this. He dismounts and walks to the pond's edge, using his power to crack the surface.

He loves seeing his husband's face when he's done something that makes Zichen proud. That only encourages him to keep doing such things! And he feels the difference in his core - it's still bright and chaotic, but it's also stronger and gaining stability every day.

All with Zichen encouraging him. Guiding him. Loving him.

"We protect each other, love." He loves that deep voice that rumbles through him and wraps around his heart, warming it. "Just hold my hand. I won't let go."

Xue Yang sees what his husband does and shifts forward to take the mare's reigns, murmuring to her to stand still with a gentle hand against her neck. "We should come by every day and check on this pond."

Xue Yang's core is beautiful in all its chaos; it's not as if it ever needs to be perfect. Zichen just wants his husband to feel better and understand his true potential. There is no need for him to bow before others or to rely on them.

"Why would I let go of your hands? I love them - and you - too much." he caresses one hand and then the other, keeping those nimble fingers safe and warm under his cloak.

Then he sees the pond and he immediately moves to help. The little birds scatter, but as he moves back, they return, drinking the free flowing water, balanced gracefully on the cracked ice.

"Yes, that would be good. They need water more than food."

But they can offer the birds both.

"Let's bring seed and berries next time."

Xue Yang loves learning from his Daozhangs how to cultivate their way. There are days he looks inward to see his core and just stares at it in awe, remembering the first time Zichen had taught him how to look at it. He won't bow to another ever again, but he will curl around those he loves and do anything he needs to to make them happy and safe.

He flushes at being told Zichen loves his hands, and knows his husband means it - even his mangled left hand. Zichen has spent hours and hours lavishing love and affection and healing onto it that he can look at it these days now and not utterly despise it.

"We can also leave seed, nuts, and berries out around the house. And keep an eye on the river so there's always a hole for drinking."

He is welcome to curl around Zichen! Xue Yang is the best bed warmer and when he wakes, Zichen is happy to cover his husband's adorably mischievous face with a flurry of kisses. Just don't tell anyone about his weakness, dear delinquent.

As far as that poor left hand is concerned, Zichen loves it. He loves the fingers and the scars. They are part of Xue Yang's story and he likes paying attention to each digit until he hears his A-Yang sigh.

"Those are good ideas." he praises and walks back to the mare, rubbing over her nose and forehead, "Do you like little birds? I noticed that our baby squirrel has grown."

He likes warming his husband up~ And those kisses his husband gives him every morning stay with him all day, making him grin when he thinks of the other man. No, no weakness his Daozhangs have are ever spoken of. He likes getting to see them relaxed around him! And relaxing with them too.

Very few things can make Xue Yang melt faster than his A-Lan lavishing affection onto his left hand. There are many reasons he loves their frequent shared baths!

He beams at the praise. "Babies are cute, and I like animals." He reaches forward to rub at the mare's ears. The mention of the sweet little ball of mischief makes him grin. "She's being very silly. Wore herself out today! She's sleeping right now."

He is part of them, now. Zichen knows of no better way to build this family of theirs than through affection. A lot of affection. That was something they all lacked at one point or another. There is no harm - and a lot of good - in indulging.

During their baths, he massages that beaten hand and showers it with kisses. Instead of those scars being hidden away, he wants them out in the open when they are together. When he sees them, he just wants to love his A-Yang all the more.

"They are." Zichen climbs back into the saddle and waits for Xue Yang to hold onto him again, "Has she? She needs as much sleep as she can get. Her fur is growing in rapidly. You might lose sight of her if she were to climb into your pocket."

No, no harm in showering each other with love and affection.

He's starting to wear his brace only when working, because of Zichen's firm stance about how that hand is not ugly. And because of how much he seems to like seeing bare, scarred skin. With all the care Zichen pays it, the scars are slowly softening and he has a lot more feeling and flexibility in the remaining digits.

Xue Yang shifts back to let his husband get back into the saddle, then settles back against him, arms curling right back around his waist. He hums his contentment at the position, snuggling in close. "Mm, maybe. But I always know when she's tucked in there. She's safe. And beautiful!"

Why not celebrate that hand's softness and flexibility whenever they are able? No, Xue Yang's scars do not have a negative impact on him. He likes knowing he can bring someone he loves relief.

The immediate snuggling has him laughing and he leans back into his adorable husband, eyes closing.

"A little mischievous black squirrel for my mischievous A-Yang." his lips quirk, "Some encounters are clearly meant to be. She will have a happy life with you."

As will he. And Xingchen. He exhales a foggy breath and nudges the mare into a trot again.

Years of pain and bitter loneliness wash away in the face of Zichen's fierce protective love. It's only natural to answer in kind, and he responds too by sharing all of himself with Zichen and Xingchen.

Xue Yang grins at the laughter and kisses his sweet husband's cheek, nuzzling his nose to soft, cold skin. "With us. She loves you too, you know. I'm almost jealous!" Almost. He knows he has his husband's heart just as fiercely as Zichen has his.

He wraps his cloak a little tighter around them as they settle into the trot. "Are you warm enough love?"

And Zichen loves what he sees. Xue Yang being himself, being open, is thoughtful, energetic and mischievous. He has been surprised, almost daily, by what his husband remembers and what matters to him. Song Zichen has never been the most important to anyone except Xingchen - and he had nearly ruined that.

He has to be careful with A-Yang.

Leaning into the kiss with a happy sigh, he tucks his husband's hands under his cloak to keep them warm.

"Don't be silly." he sounds amused, smiling at the thought of the little squirrel loving him and Xue Yang being jealous, "I have enough heart for you, her and Xingchen."

The mare huffs and he laughs at the unexpected sound.

"Ah yes, you too, and your handsome stallions." Zichen pauses as she moves into a trot, glancing back at his beloved, "I am. What about you? I thought we could stop by the tavern for something warm to drink."

They both have to be careful not to repeat certain horrors of their pasts. Xue Yang works to learn how to be extra sweet to his Daozhangs, making sure they know he's theirs. That he really does love them and just wants to stay near them, no matter what. And he relies on them to show him the right way to do just that.

He feels himself melt at that little sigh as his hands get tucked right back under his husband's cloak. Then grins, laughing at being told such an absurd thing! "A-Lan! If I stop being silly, how will I make you and A-Chen laugh so much? That would be sad!" Purposely, playfully, misunderstanding at first.

And just as happily ruins it by nuzzling his precious husband, smiling at the sweet mare's insulted huff at being excluded. Since Zichen so nicely turns his head to look at him, he steals a soft little kiss!

"You keep me warm. A warm drink sounds perfect." Call him a sap. He doesn't care!

Xue Yang knows how to show love. It's about being gentle and perceptive. Zichen sometimes tenses, his mind replaying events he would dearly love to forget. His A-Yang waits for him, calling him back and then soft hands and lips soothe him. That is love.

He likes those hands resting against his abdomen, nice and safe from the Winter chill.

"You would have to be crafty. Why not use your lips in other ways?" he leans back just enough to playfully nudge their heads together.

His laughter is stopped abruptly by the kiss and he shivers - but not from cold!

"I thought it might." he makes a soft sound and she heads in the direction of the tavern, neck arching proudly.

Zichen tenses and Xue Yang understands why. It hurts to see, so he stills, waits, then reminds his beloved how safe he is. How precious and loved he is. That isn't weakness he sees in his husband now, it is strength. Survival, despite horrible experiences as a child. He's proud that he is the one who has helped this good man in soothing that fear.

He grins, eyes bright with mischief. "I like when you talk naughty~" He teases huskily. And kisses his beloved again! Lingering just a little, he loves making Zichen shiver like that. "Mm...maybe a nice hot soak when we get home later."

But he sobers and snuggles in for the ride, content to enjoy in and uses his hands to shield his husband's heart.

The nights he has bad dreams, he wakes to arms around him - not restraining him, just embracing him. Even in the dark, he knows Xue Yang's scent and he has little to no trouble tucking himself against the other man until his breathing settles.

Fear is easier to conquer when he isn't alone. And it helps, immensely, that neither A-Yang or Xingchen have grown tired of his hesitations or his bad memories. Both have decreased exponentially in number since he said his vows to Xue Yang.

He has a place to belong. He won't have to hurt like that again.

"Was I being naughty?" he plays dumb, groaning against those lips that claim his. Oh. Maybe he was. Zichen smiles shyly at the suggestion and kisses his beloved's cheek.

"You are handsome in a tub."

More than handsome. Downright alluring. He smiles at the gentle fall of snow and points out the pretty flakes when they are visible.

Never restraining. Never again, even if Zichen hasn't lived through the horrors Xue Yang has done to him. Xue Yang would rather take those on himself now. It's easier to be sweet when he knows - knows - he won't be abandoned or kicked out again. Zichen could have pulled away when Xue Yang had bared every horrible, sordid detail. He hadn't.

Memories are memories. Every little bit of good he does in soothing Zichen from bad dreams or memories is returned in kind.

He grins at the play, heart leaping at that groan, and hums happily at the kiss to his cheek. "Deliciously so~" He rubs fingers over his husband's chest. "Even more so when you keep me company." Utterly shameless, especially when it comes to loving his husband.

He happily looks where Zichen points, admiring the delicate flakes of snow as they fall. "I like the hush that comes with snowfall. More so here." Because it's not the hush of death or loneliness. "It feels peaceful."

Zichen is a stubborn man; no one can make him turn Xue Yang away. He made his decision when he saw progress initially and that decision has only become hardened, immovable over the following months. Xue Yang is his - though he is, of course, willing to share him with sweet Xingchen. Or, perhaps, share Xingchen with Xue Yang?

"I hadn't noticed." he lies poorly and arches against the hands over his heart, "Mm there is nothing wrong with a married couple keeping each other company, A-Yang."

They can be as shameless as they like, too! The snowflakes are not something to be missed and he points them out for his husband to enjoy during the ride.

"It is peaceful. The land is sleeping. Underneath all of that ice, life is just waiting to grow again."

They'd made each other promises even before marrying, their marriage vows had only added to them. And they've become stronger together, leaning on each other. Xue Yang has learned they can share Xingchen - and that Xingchen is willing, over and over again, given time.

He grins at the arching and nibbles playfully at his husband's jaw. "Careful love, I might just need to be extra shameless with you in public if you keep this up~" He won't. Probably. It's hard to keep his hands completely to himself though, especially when Zichen is being so irresistible!

The comment on life just below the ice, waiting, has him fascinated. "Merlan's going to teach me how to farm when the fields thaw enough to work. Can you picture me a farmer?"

The feel of teeth makes it hard to concentrate on...anything other than his A-Yang's hot breath! Zichen grips the reins tighter and he lets himself have a moment of pure bliss, nestling back against the other man. Why shouldn't he?

"Don't ruin your reputation. You've made far too many friends." he lets his pride shine through that statement and he lifts one of Xue Yang's hands to kiss his palm, "I can imagine you doing many things, love. You've learned to be patient and you're strong. Farming won't be difficult."

The little seeds are much like the baby squirrel and the foal they might have in Spring.

He smirks, feeling his husband's distraction and loves being the cause. Then flushes at the pride in those words and tightens his arm around his beloved's waist, letting the other be pulled up for that sweet kiss. "Mm...They know I'm shameless."

Friends. He does have them now. No threats. No one forcing anyone to be nice to him. He nestles against his husband's back with a happy little sigh, basking in the faith Zichen lavishes on him.

"I'm looking forward to it. She's almost as good a teacher as you and A-Chen." Almost, only because he's biased towards his Daozhangs.

"As do I." he answers softly - and he accepts that shamelessness. Welcomes it, even! His A-Yang is cute when he is misbehaving and Zichen doesn't have any trouble telling him when he is going too far.

He hears the sigh and he is glad to see the tavern coming into view. When his husband makes little sounds like that, he wants to hold him and touch him.

"Almost? You have so much faith in us."

The mare is easy to maneuver into the waiting stable near said tavern. He slips off of the saddle and reaches up to help Xue Yang, not wanting him to put too much force on his leg.

Ooooooh! Xue Yang feels his heart leap at that answer and grins, nipping at his husband's jaw again before licking to sooth the fondly abused skin. They both know he'd stop the second Zichen gave the signal he was going too far.

"I have complete faith in you," he answers firmly, utterly serious. "We have been through too much, I know where I belong. I have a home, and that home is with my Daozhangs."

Xue Yang could huff at the constant care and consideration Zichen shows in making sure he doesn't strain his leg too much, but it makes him feel warm and loved instead. And he loves his husband's hands on him. So playfully, purposely, falls into them, knowing Zichen's sweet mare will only playfully huff at his antics.

He will wear any mark left behind with pride! Zichen has never sought to hide their relationship. To do so would be strange to him. Love should be celebrated and shared, shouldn't it?

But, of course, he isn't about to strip down in public! He is confident Xue Yang won't ask that of him.

"Yes." he answers just as firmly, "The home all three of us share isn't complete without you. Just as you and I were not complete without Xingchen. It needs to be the three of us."

Zichen doesn't even blink at the antics. He simply catches his husband and hugs him close, finally giving into a warm kiss or two. The mare nudges them with her nose playfully. She's hungry!

They were all that mattered.

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