farsickness | Communications Array work

She is very proud of that laugh! The mare gives him a bright, happy look, leaning her face against his chest. And when he uses her to stand up, she is nice and steady for him, curling her neck around him like she would a foal.

Zichen fights a grin and disentangles one of his hands, stroking his fingers along the side of Xue Yang's face.

"If they lack any magic of their own...any power...like a golden core, that could be difficult." he considers the problem and slips from the mare's back, landing right beside his husband, "You would need a vessel to hold the power they might lack. An amulet might do."

Well of course he also throws his arms around her and gives her neck a hug!

Xue Yang's grin softens at the gentle affection and leans into those fingers. He listens attentively as he pulls back to let his beloved dismount, then grabs for a hand to tug Zichen down to sit in the middle of the pile of papers he's been working on.

"That's what I was thinking too." He hunts for the right paper, then hands it to Zichen with a hopeful look. "This is the best of what I've come up with so far." But of course once Zichen sits, the little squirrel launches herself at him, making Xue Yang snicker.

She blows her breath into his hair as if she is laughing. He gives good hugs!

Something that Zichen agrees with her on, by the way. When his hand is grabbed, he follows his husband without comment or hesitation, reviewing the talismans with interest. He takes hold of the paper he is presented and he smiles at the enthusiasm in his lover's voice.

"You know how talismans work and amulets. These amulets would have to hold our power and release it for anyone's use." which could be dangerous in the wrong hands, "What about safeguards, A-Yang?"

The squirrel is caught, softly, with his free hand and he kisses the top of her head.

"Hello, little one."

He's eager for praise, really. And encouragement. But also ideas on how to improve what he's done so far, along with suggestions on what hasn't occurred to him yet.

So of course he practically glows when Zichen says he knows how amulets and talismans work. Anything can be dangerous in the wrong hands, as they both know well. Safeguards, he tilts his head, thinking on that for a moment before taking the paper back and etches a few more marks in as he hears the little squirrel chattering at Zichen about her day.

"Ideally the amulets can be made and then use heat to recharge, rather than the user needing to find one of us every time. And they'll need to be locked to specific people, otherwise there's no real way to know who's listening."

"You seek to turn heat into...spiritual energy?" or at least energy that is enough akin that the messages can be sent smoothly, "I do love your ambition, A-Yang." and the rest of him too.

Zichen lets his husband puzzle over what should be added while he caresses the little squirrel. Her story has him nodding and gasping at the perfect intervals, letting her know she is being heard. She is far too cute to be ignored!

Then he glances back at the paper and gently reaches for the pen, adding a sequence of characters in the upper corner.

"If anyone seeks to use the power...yours...mine...or Xingchen's...for ill, there should be a backlash." he leans in and kisses Xue Yang's cheek, "You're creative. Think of what they deserve."

"Mm...kind of?" It didn't sound quite right. "I want to figure out runes that don't require spiritual energy at all to work, after the initial activation." The comment about his ambition being loved leaves him beaming at his lover.

Of course the little squirrel loves Zichen too! She gets quite animated and it's probably only because of Zichen's careful hold that she doesn't fall over and off!

Xue Yang relinquishes the pen when his husband reaches for it, then blinks and grins at the additions. He tilts his head, eyeing the other man with a playful smirk. Only for it to soften again at the kiss to his cheek! "No one else gets to use our power. These won't be...syphons of power. They should only be used for communicating. Calling for help, as an example."

It's something that leaves Zichen nervous, admittedly, but he trusts that Xue Yang will take all factors into mind before moving forward. No matter how ambitious he feels.

"Where would the power come from, love? There are natural sources; everything around us has a spirit. What if we tapped into the earth or the trees?"

Zichen then settles in for their tiniest child's story, rubbing her belly and ears as she chatters. No, he won't let her fall. She is much too precious for that.

"You've been so adventurous today..." he hums and snuggles her against him while he reaches for the pen. After adding his idea, he looks relieved.

"I would rather not risk our abilities falling into the wrong hands. Nor do I want someone siphoning away all of your power or mine."

That nervousness is precisely why Xue Yang is showing every step. He hides nothing from his daozhangs now - except some, from Xingchen. And that was with Zichen's own advice. The poor sweet man doesn't need to know the horrors Xue Yang had made him do.

The idea of using the very earth has him humming thoughtfully. "The earth might be too powerful for most people to use safely. The trees would be safer, they're used to a yearly burn to be reborn."

He laughs when he watches the little squirrel flop over for belly rubs and tucks himself in against Zichen's side. "She's a very good listener, A-Lan~" He loves the little creature's company, even beside the fact Zichen had found her and brought her to him for care.

"They won't," he promises, quietly but firm. "I won't start showing people how to use anything I try out without you saying it's safe."

Xingchen needs time to heal; to understand he is loved no matter what. Even at his strongest, he might not be able to accept the truth of what he did under Xue Yang's guidance. Zichen is cautious of that possibility.

"It might be, but most lack the ability to use much of that energy to begin with." he nods approvingly at the idea of using the trees, "Rocks too could serve; as can running water."

The flop has Zichen smiling and he tucks their baby squirrel safely against his chest. Her soft ears are caressed before he chuckles.

"She likes your voice." he is so proud of how far she has come - from a shivering, helpless infant to a strong young squirrel. Most of that transformation is due to his A-Yang and that makes him proud too.

"I never said I don't trust you." Zichen nudges their heads together, "This idea of yours will help keep everyone safer. I'm proud of you, A-Yang."

Xingchen will have as much time as he needs to heal. And even if they aren't sure the poor man can handle it all...he'll just continue to be loved for who he is. Xue Yang isn't exactly eager to share that part of his past again!

He hums, nodding in agreement. "And those who do, have their own power." He smiles and notes those possibilities down on another page, clearly specifically for notes.

The silly little creature gives a big yawn as she's tucked in against Zichen's chest and promptly falls right back to sleep.

Xue Yang flushes and nuzzles back, smiling softly. "I'll never risk damaging your trust in me, A-Lan," he murmurs. "I just want to make sure, because sometimes...I don't think quite how you or A-Chen do. So things I'd not think twice about using, other people shouldn't. Or it could blow up on them if not used right."

And Zichen will be ready to listen if his A-Yang needs to talk about those difficult years. He is quite determined to see both of his loves healed - and he can keep a secret if it means one of them remains happy and intact.

"Yes." he answers softly, watching his husband tenderly. The soft, warm weight of the squirrel tells him she has fallen asleep and he gently tucks her into one of his pockets.

Then he answers that nuzzling with a soft kiss.

"If I thought you might, I would tell you to stop experimenting." he wraps an arm around Xue Yang and pulls him close, "I like the way you think. Your ideas surprise me, but not in a negative way. I want to see what you can do."

Some nights he needs just that, and he shares his thoughts and memories, pain and hopes with his precious husband. Zichen has proven himself a loyal, attentive husband. Even with all the ugliness that Xue Yang has done in the past. It's because of this man's love that he's doing so much better.

He grins when he gets to watch Zichen tuck their little black furbaby into a pocket for a safe nap where it's warm. Only to hum as he gets a kiss too! He happily presses into it, though keeps it undemanding.

Xue Yang snuggles into his lover's side and rests his head on a strong shoulder. "I like making you proud~" And surprising his beloved in good ways. He feels better when he's with his daozhangs.

When Xue Yang speaks to him, quietly, after the blankets are tucked around them, Zichen knows it's important. He gives his husband his full attention no matter how tired he might feel. His loved ones always come first and he is honored that his A-Yang feels comfortable enough opening up to him.

Little squirrels can't say no to warm, dark places. Zichen remembers carrying her around just like this after her feeds.

Their kiss leaves him slightly flushed and he welcomes his husband, pressing another kiss to the top of his head.

"You make me proud every day." and that is no small task! But as long as Xue Yang tries and lets his sweetness shine through, Zichen won't feel any other way.

He'd never had anyone who gave a damn about him enough to listen to anything he had to say. Not if it didn't benefit them in some way. Zichen listened...out of love, out of care, out of the goodness of his heart. That's one of the many reasons Xue Yang loves him.

It's still hard to bare all of himself to another person. But he manages it with his Zichen. And always feels a little lighter for the effort he gives and acceptance he gets.

He beams at those flushed cheeks, but only snuggles in, enjoying the other man's warmth as well. Maybe he's part squirrel? Then it's his turn to flush when he's told he makes Zichen proud every day. "I do?"

He has never felt that his feelings are one-sided. Whatever he gives Xue Yang is given back to him in affection he never thought he would be worthy of receiving. In that way, Xue Yang has been his teacher, helping him to master the physical signs of love and to no longer flee from them.

The snuggling has him holding his husband a little tighter. He could be part squirrel! Though likely not. Zichen presses his lips over those flushed cheeks.

"You do. I love who you are, A-Yang. It took time, but I finally see you."

Oh no, not at all one-sided. Once they'd started to get along, and then Zichen took the time to teach him how to meditate, hearts had changed and grown together. Xingchen had taught Xue Yang that not everyone was out to hurt others, and that it was nice to touch without needed to expect pain. He'd just helped Zichen learn that same lesson, and that touch can feel really really good.

The tighter hold doesn't alarm him now, only draws a contented little sigh as he relaxes against his husband. These arms mean safety and warmth now.

"It's your own fault," he murmurs playfully. "You let me in." And vice versa. "Now I get to be who I want to be." And he likes that person a little more each day.

He has one more reason to be indebted to Xiao Xingchen. But Zichen doesn't mind. How could he? He has loved Xingchen since the moment he saw him. And now that love has helped him discover another love. Xue Yang was like a wounded predator before, ready to bite and claw because he expected no less from his foes. Now he is as soft as their little squirrel and... Dependable. An equal. Zichen feels completely safe with him.

"I had no choice when you..." he ducks his head, shy, "You tried so hard and I saw how you risked yourself for Xingchen. I thought there must be a man I haven't met yet in that gremlin." his lips quirk, "I'm honored to be married to him now."

Xue Yang had known no other way to live. Had never been taught the sweet side of life before Xingchen, and then Zichen. He'd fallen so hard for Xingchen and then...Zichen. There is no other way for him to live now. He likes being soft for his daozhangs!

Even Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji had had no reason to attack him in Gazin.

He beams at that shy expression and tilts his head to nuzzle those soft cheeks. "Now you know both, and know that I'm your gremlin~" Then he flushes again. "I like being married to my wolf."

For Xingchen...for Xue Yang...Zichen will do anything. He only fears losing them; everything else can be solved one way or another. But he will not allow anyone to put them in danger. Xue Yang's past crimes are done and while he is bound to Zichen and Xingchen, no one should fear him.

Those smiles should be convincing enough. Zichen only sees pure sweetness behind them and that is why he can't resist pulling his husband into a deeper kiss.

"Yes. You are." he murmurs against those soft lips, "Everyone has a place. This is yours and this is mine."

Xingchen has been lost over and over and over again. Only Zichen had stayed with Xue Yang. Out of everyone, only his Zichen has stuck with him through it all. Helped him bear all that loss, without losing this new self and strength there is that goes with it.

For his Zichen, he'll do anything. For Xingchen, too.

The deeper kiss is immediately answered and he leans into his beloved, curling his arms around him to hold on. His lips stretch into a grin and he nuzzles their lips together. "You and A-Chen are my home."

Xingchen's heart is one that can be depended on. If he loved Xue Yang once, he can and will again. Zichen takes hold of his husband's hand to remind him to be patient each time their beloved is returned to them. Perhaps that is the lesson they both must learn?

He doesn't believe anything happens without a reason.

The hot mouth that answers his love takes his breath away. Zichen wraps his arms around Xue Yang's waist, accidentally disturbing some of his lover's notes.

"Ah forgive me..." he reaches to set the pages back in order, blushing harder at that statement, "Where I go, you will go. Where you go, I will follow."

Zichen's belief in that fact has helped Xue Yang keep moving forward. To keep sharing himself and truth with the sweet blind man each time he came back with memories missing. It's been a very difficult lesson!

Finding all his notes and work mussed because of their passionate kissing makes him laugh and he simply takes those pages back and sets them out of their way. He nuzzles their noses together, grinning without a hint of irritation. "Always, love." He likes distracting his handsome lover~

Then claims another fierce kiss at that promise. "I'll always be right there with you."

Xingchen is worth the strain and Zichen looks at it all as a way of...punishment. It's the only sort of punishment that teaches them to be faithful and patient while also ensuring Xue Yang doesn't lose his way again.

The work has been done so thoughtfully that Zichen feels genuine guilt for pushing it about accidentally. He does love that laugh and he watches Xue Yang as he sets his notes to rights. The nuzzling that follows helps his guilt ease and he kisses his lover's chin and then both of his cheeks.

"I know you will find a solution for the villagers." he groans as he kissed again, his eyes falling closed, "I don't want to face any world without you, my A-Yang."

Edited 2022-03-20 09:48 (UTC)

Xue Yang would agree. And he accepts his punishment. He's using it as a way to grow stronger and better, into someone his daozhangs deserve to be with. He seems to be succeeding, too! Which helps when they're bereft of Xingchen's light.

How can he be upset with his A-Lan when he was so clearly the cause of that exuberance? It's impossible now! He'll never forget how afraid his poor love had been of touch, no matter how much he wanted it. So he nuzzles to reassure him, and smiles at the silly sweet kisses he gets in answer.

"Mm! I want to! I won't stop until I've found a good solution." And hums into the kiss, threading the fingers of his good hand into his love's wonderful hair. "You won't," he murmurs intently. "Not if I have anything to say about it."

Which is why Zichen will stay beside him, gently coaxing him to feel, to speak his mind, to be honest about his desires. When they are angry or hurt, there is no shame in that. Zichen knows just where to take his husband and they have a regimen they follow to tire themselves when the frustration becomes overwhelming.

And, yes, Xue Yang, you are to blame for his exuberance! Zichen is still amazed at himself - at how free he can be. Sometimes he shakes, but never does he pull away. Why would he? Xue Yang has never treated him with anything other than understanding.

"I believe in you." he rubs over his lover's back and melts into the kiss, returning the gentle pressure, "I want you to have a say in everything, love. Your instincts are good and you know what to do when you feel those old emotions..."

Come to him. Climb into his lap if need be! Zichen won't judge him at all.

It's taken a long time to get to this point. And they both have tempers that flare bright and hot - but they've learned just how to work past whatever happened and to calm down. Together.

Just as he knows not to pull away when Zichen trembles, to give him the chance to work past it or decide he can't at the moment. Xue Yang knows how hard that is too, to expect pain no matter what one's head says.

He strokes over his love's hair, pressing little kisses over what he can get his lips on. Mostly to be silly, but also to shower his beloved husband with love and affection as he enjoys that hand over his back.

At hearing he knows what to do when he feels those old, painful emotions, he grins and wiggles until he straddles his husband's lap, then presses in close, tucking his head under Zichen's chin with a gusty, happy breath. "I like this position even when I'm not angry and hurt."

Their tempers are precisely what came between them before. Anger, betrayal and a sorrow so deep that surely nothing could touch it stood between them like a fortress. But they have dismantled that fortress, brick by brick. And now they see each other for who they are, scars and all. Zichen can handle Xue Yang's anger - just as Xue Yang can handle his.

He can handle his pain too. The kisses draw a broader smile out of him. Their playful affection is his favorite; it reminds him that he has married a wonderfully mischievous man.

And his lap is always open to him. Zichen welcomes Xue Yang immediately, tipping his head back to make the position easier. The exhale sounds so happy that he can hardly help laughing.

"It's yours. No one will take it from you."

Edited 2022-03-20 11:09 (UTC)

There'd been a time that Xue Yang had deliberately poked at Zichen's temper, finding it beautiful. Now he does everything he can to help sooth it, knowing how deeply that anger hurts his husband and hating to see it.

He much prefers seeing smiles on that handsome face! And hearing the beautiful laughter! And he prefers being playful with his mischief, to earn those happy sounds and sights rather than bitter pain, anger, and tears that he'd once sought.

Laughter like this used to make him tense and bite, feeling like he was being mocked. Not this sweet sound that tells him he'd made his beloved happy with his silliness. So he snuggles closer with a smile, letting his eyes close as he savors this connection.

"I love your laugh, A-Lan," he murmurs.

The first time Xue Yang had deliberately tried to calm him, Zichen had fallen a little more - and harder. He had caught a glimpse of the man he knows now and he hadn't wanted to let him go. The darkness doesn't deserve him. Zichen wants his A-Yang to be bright and shining and full of life.

Truly, Zichen only laughs for Xingchen and his A-Yang. The rest of the world might get a smile, but they never last long. His laughter, however, can return again and again as long as his soulmates are happy too.

His arms enclose his gremlin and he strokes through his long, gorgeous hair with obvious pleasure. More kisses are placed against Xue Yang's brow and temples because his beloved deserves them.

"Yours can brighten the darkest of days."

Xue Yang knows now how it feels to earn those smiles that hardly anyone else gets, and that sweet laugh. More often than not, remembering them when he's angry or hurt helps sooth his temper until he can reach Zichen, so he doesn't lash out quite so badly. Then he can relax, and either crawl into his husband's lap, or he can be drawn into a spar to work out some of that aggression. Either way, he feels better, freer. Lighter.

Feeling those strong fingers card through his hair has him melting against Zichen, trusting his hair won't ever be pulled or used to control him. He feels his face warm at hearing his love likes his laugh too and knows it as a Zichen truth. So he wraps his legs around his husband's waist to hold on that way too!

"I like getting to brighten your day~"

Zichen is quick to move his robe - and the slumbering squirrel in his pocket - before Xue Yang gets properly settled. He much prefers being free to hold his husband as tightly as he wants. Since his A-Yang has sought out this contact, he must need it and, frankly, Zichen needs it too.

Dropping soft kisses over his lover's ear, he moves from Xue Yang's silky hair to his back, finding tense muscles and massaging them with patient, practiced fingers. When those legs wrap around him, Zichen touches the thigh that is injured, sending his A-Yang waves of healing energy.

"That is an easy task for you, love. Don't I wake to you each morning?"

His trust is complete, even with the little life that could so easily be squished if they aren't careful. And he doesn't shy when Zichen doesn't immediately just wrap his arms around him, sensing the reason without being told and it spurs him to kiss his husband's throat in silent thanks.

Maybe he doesn't need this contact as he usually does. Maybe he simply just wants it. But his precious A-Lan gives it with such ease that he can't help but settle under it. And he can feel how Zichen relaxes too, which makes him smile that he can give right back. Only for those massaging fingers to draw a low groan as tension he hadn't even noticed eases. Even the old wounds are tended! As always, his husband is thorough in his fussing.

He presses a happy smile against his love's neck. "I wake to you, too."

Their baby girl has been an important part of their lives since Zichen found her. She took to them as her parents and that isn't something Zichen takes lightly. Her first storm had frightened her so badly that he had heard her squealing from the soft pouch they had made her. No thought had occurred to him besides comfort her and he done just that, carrying the shivering baby to their bed and tucking her between A-Yang and himself.

Zichen makes a soft sound and then wraps Xue Yang in his embrace, caressing him until he feels his beloved relax. The warm weight and his A-Yang's scent help him to do likewise, but he doesn't forget that poor leg. Never.

"Is that a joy?" he teases, "I'm not as welcoming of mornings as you."

Zichen had brought her home and the moment Xue Yang had seen her, he'd loved her. Getting to see her personality blossom has been a joy! He doesn't mind sharing their bed with her, even when there isn't a scary storm!

He laughs with delight at that tease and lifts his head to kiss the tip of his husband's nose, grinning into those beautiful eyes. Xingchen's eyes, but his Zichen's heart.

"That's what I love most! Waking you up is fun~"

She has Xue Yang's energy and that makes it fun to watch her. Zichen likes giving her puzzles, encouraging her to solve them by hiding treats along the way. There is a sense of pride from her when she accomplishes one of said puzzles and Zichen is reminded of his love.

His A-Yang is safe with him no matter the storm they face. Even if the walls come crashing down, Zichen won't let go of him.

Color blossoms from the place those lips touch. His guilt over his eyes hasn't eased much - especially with Xingchen blind - but he does love them.

"Meaning you like to tease me into -" his blush darkens, "Well, you know." he huffs, "It is a good start to the day, I admit."

They both give her puzzles to solve, keeping her active both physically and mentally. And rewarding her with little treats! Xue Yang also likes seeing that pride at a job well done, as well as feeling it for himself when he manages challenges in a more positive way than before.

He trusts that strength and loyalty now, more than he's ever trusted anything before. He's no longer alone, and that has done wonders for him. Even the guilt he feels at having hurt his poor daozhangs so badly in the past can't eclipse his love for them, and his determination to make them happy now.

He laughs with delight but only tightens his embrace and claims a soft kiss. "Of course I know." He nuzzles his love, unrepentant in this teasing if only because he knows Zichen doesn't actually mind how they start many days.

But he sobers, softening. "It's the waking up beside you that I love most."

She lifts herself up on her back feet and fluffs her tail so proudly that even Zichen has a difficult time denying her anything. He has wondered if she is learning to be charming from Xue Yang? If so, he is doomed to be a slave to her whims.

Not that he will ever complain, mind you.

As for their guilt... The fact that his A-Yang can feel it, well, that's all Zichen wants from him. It means his beloved understands what he did and how much he hurt them...and others too. They can't stay in that place and he refuses to blame Xue Yang endlessly for things he can't change.

Instead he wants to love him and lift him away from the murky water, the darkness. He wants his A-Yang to see the light that makes those like Xiao Xingchen so sweet and forgiving.

"I'm glad you haven't forgotten." he replies gruffly, tilting his head to enjoy the nuzzling, "Really?" his voice shakes and he swallows against it, "Your face is so soft when you're sleepy."

Communications Array work

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