You intruded on paradise.

[zichen]

WHO: Song Lan/Song Zichen & Xue Yang (Open to Xiao Xingchen too.)
WHEN: Several weeks after he learns of the wedding.
WHAT: He needs to test Xue Yang in order to understand him.
WHERE: Gazin
WARNINGS: TBD

He sat in meditation, trying to find peace with what was unfolding before his eyes. Xiao Xingchen, his soulmate, loved another. Oh their love hadn't faded, so, truly, Xue Yang was more of an addition than an opponent. Still, considering the man's past, it was understandable why Zichen felt so ill at ease with the arrangement.

The past few weeks he had been watching Xue Yang, playing the part of silent observer, however that wasn't good enough. He needed to test him; to get to know him - perhaps intimately - so he knew Xingchen was safe.

And loved. As he should be.

"Xue Yang." he had heard the footsteps behind him and he opened his eyes, motioning at the seat beside him, "Meditate with me."

Comments

[jiangzaid]

No. Not until he looks up. Not until he sees damp cheeks that mirror his own. He hears the pained sounds as if through water. And then the whispers...Xue Yang lets Zichen put a little distance between them and forces himself not to look away.

The demand has him laugh, a brittle, painful sound and he sniffles miserably. He listens to Zichen - Song Zichen - tell him he believes in Xue Yang, and it has his eyes widen in awe. He frees one hand to gently wipe Zichen's face with a sleeve as he leans on that faith.

"I am trying to be," he whispers, swallowing heavily. Then breathes and nods, determined. "I have not hurt a single innocent person since I came to Gazin proper." He...might have...knocked someone down in his haste to reach Xingchen, but that was outside of Gazin. He hadn't been trying to change then.

"I swear to you that I will continue to harm no one unless I see with my own eyes they are not innocent.

"I swear to stay with you and Xingchen for as long as you want me with you. I told Xingchen...that I would do anything for him. The same is true for you now, too." The latter is spoken softly, shyly, as the crumbling ground at his feet hardens.

"I don't know what it is."

[zichen]

His eyelids flutter, almost closing as his tears are wiped away. His hands are shaking as he lifts them and cradles Xue Yang's face between his palms. A pair of thumbs trace over the other man's cheekbones and Zichen does his best not to grimace at the sound of the other's laughter.

If pain had a voice...

Shifting closer, he brushes his lips over Xue Yang's brows, visibly relaxing when he hears that his belief in the other man isn't false. He has turned over a new leaf and pride helps ease the torment in his heart.

"A-Yang..." he murmurs the name hesitantly, reaching for Xue Yang's braced hand and kissing the material over his pinky finger, "Stay with us? Xingchen will know the truth before he perishes. I think that is enough." his brow furrows in worry, "I can see no good in telling him in Gazin. He is happy with you and with me."

So why spoil the happiness? All the same, he realizes that keeping the truth from Xingchen means Xue Yang will never be forgiven.

"I tell you this, A-Yang, and I ask that you think about it: if Xingchen heard of you doing the same to two other people, he would be hurt and angry. He would want to see justice done." he touches Xue Yang's lips to keep him from responding, "But if he then saw you trying to better yourself, trying to live peacefully - if he understood what you have endured, he would support you. Eventually, he would love you. So you needn't think that keeping the truth from him gives you some sort of...edge...over him. I know his heart is great."

[jiangzaid]

He leans into the hands on his face, not caring if it opens him up to pain. Zichen has the right to do anything he wants to him.

The kiss to his forehead has his breath hitch and he shudders, swallowing heavily again. He flushes in amazement when Zichen uses the intimate nickname again, despite knowing everything he still chooses to call him thus. Xue Yang tenses briefly when his left hand is picked up, but he doesn't pull away. Instead he leans against Zichen again, resting his cheek against the man's strong shoulder and watches as his hand is tugged up and soft lips press to the brace over his maimed finger.

He listens to Zichen's choice, relief flooding him when this man agrees with him on not telling Xingchen everything. The finger to his lips to keep him from interrupting gets a kiss before he even thinks about it. But then he shakes his head slightly with a sad little frown.

"I don't tell him because I don't want him to kill himself again...I asked the others-" asked. He grimaces, gaze low. "...I manipulated Wen Qing into helping at first - but it was agreed that no one would tell Xingchen.

"It's not so I have something to hold over his head if he does something I don't like. I won't ever do that to him or you again. I love you both, I can't just...take it back."

[zichen]

"He -" Zichen's tone wobbles and he swallows, forcing himself to breathe deep, "I don't want him blaming himself for my death or the deaths of the innocent. That is a burden he doesn't deserve to carry." he holds Xue Yang's hand against his chest, his grip gentle, "I'm sorry that you will be denied any comfort he might give you, but I think the risk is too great. Xingchen is the strongest Cultivator I know - besides our Master - but his heart is fragile. We must protect it."

He nudges their foreheads together and soaks in Xue Yang's gentle warmth. His head is throbbing and he feels like he has been in a battle. The little kiss brings a small smile to his lips.

"Let's move forward, A-Yang, to whatever awaits us. I don't want you to look back."

[jiangzaid]

Xue Yang presses closer when he hears the wobble, trying to give what comfort he can. "I agree," he answers without hesitation or doubt. He nuzzles his cheek against Zichen's shoulder at the apology. "Him alive and happy is all I need. And now...you. You alive and happy. I need you both that way." And he'll do everything he can to make them happy and safe.

He feels drained. Emotional outbursts like this tend to have that effect.

"...You haven't thrown me out." Shy. He leans into the other's forehead, letting their noses nudge gently together. "I told you everything I did to you two, and you haven't told me to leave. You are amazing, A-Lan."

[zichen]

The selflessness is a pleasant surprise and Zichen turns his head, caressing Xue Yang's cheek with gentle fingertips. He sees no lie in the other man's entrancing eyes and his fear for Xingchen's safety - sanity - dims.

They can protect him if they work together.

"He blossoms when you are around. I like seeing it." he settles back on the pillows, hugging Xue Yang so close that the man likely has no choice but to follow him, "I would sooner throw out half of my heart." he admits, "There is nothing amazing about me saving myself agony."

His words are grumbled, but the kiss he places on Xue Yang's mouth is tender.

[jiangzaid]

He's selfless when it comes to Zichen and Xingchen. And... a bit toward Wen Qing, too. He's brought her gifts and things just because. He sighs quietly at the gentle touches and leans into them, eyes half closing.

Then flushes at the information and his shoulders shake in a quiet puff of a laugh. Xue Yang doesn't protest being tugged down onto the bed and simply curls up against Zichen, head returning to rest comfortably on Zichen's shoulder. "I like making him smile and laugh." He settles a hand over the other man's heart, fingertips light and caressing over fabric as he finds himself oddly more at peace than he'd have thought after the painful memories he'd dragged out and aired.

The grumble has him grin shyly, heart doing a funny little leap. Then his breath is stolen away by the soft kiss. It makes him sigh and relax bonelessly against Zichen. Welcoming the kiss.

[zichen]

It's a start and Zichen will encourage him to open his heart to others, too. Though obviously not in the same way. This Daozhang can likely get rather protective if not jealous and that wouldn't be good for anyone.

Xue Yang's laugh does something to him and Zichen flushes as he envisions pressing the other man against the bed. What would he do after that? Besides kiss him again and again and again...

As if Yi City never existed. As if they were always like this.

"I'm not very good at it." he murmurs, slightly dazed, "He can make me smile. If I am ever threatened or mistreated, he speaks for me." his lips curve sweetly, "You've heard how authoritative he can be. I have never seen him run from anyone."

So of course Zichen wants to be a bright place in Xingchen's life, so the man knows he is adored. If Xue Yang feels like he feels, they can revolve around Xingchen as if he was their sun.

He groans into the kiss, shivering happily when Xue Yang lays over him. He buries a hand in the other man's hair and kisses him again and again - slowly, lazily, drawing out the pleasure.

[jiangzaid]

He loves his Daozhangs. He's learning to be nicer to other people, and even succeeding with some. Knowing how happy it would make Xingchen is what makes him proud of himself for managing the slow changes. The effort it takes is worth it for the smile of Xingchen and the happiness of these two men.

Zichen's slow, sweet smile takes his breath away and he ends up staring at it, eyes wide with awe and he reaches up to trace the gentle curve of lips. "I will too!"

He will do anything for the smile of two men.

Xue Yang laughs breathlessly and nods. "I like how commanding he can be, when he wants to be."

Only to shudder when Zichen's hand curls into his hair and he's tugged into one kiss after the other. He moans into the kiss and gives himself over to it, eyes sliding blissfully closed and he presses just a little closer to the other man. Pain and misery forgotten.

[zichen]

The weight of Xue Yang's gaze on his face makes him hot. Zichen fidgets, tugging at the edges of his sleeves, his head bowing to hide how much Xue Yang's awe affects him. But then there is a gentle pressure against his lips. Blinking in surprise, he peeks up at the other man, pressing a tentative kiss against those questing fingers.

"You wish...to help me?" Zichen nods in agreement to the second part, finding it easier to speak when the subject shifts, "I do too."

Xingchen is never more beautiful than when he knows he is protecting another from harm. Come to think of it, the same holds true with Xue Yang. The moan shoots straight to his groin and he wonders if the feeling is shared. Though he feels slightly embarrassed, he allows himself to whimper and groan. His hands press Xue Yang firmly to him, massaging the other man's lower back while Zichen deepens their kisses with a flick of his tongue.