farsickness | Arrival and panic (OTA)

Entry tags:

xue yang | the untamed

Arrival and panic (OTA)

Who: Wei Wuxian + OTA (with one closed to castmates)
Where: Around Gazin and a random field
When: October 27th-ish
What: Wei Wuxian arrives, finds he's alone without his husband and freaks out maybe a little bit
Warnings: Wei Wuxian being an asshole to Xue Yang. Typical canon mentions of death and violence, PTSD/Panic attack, self-hatred, (will update as necessary)

Gazin Open to all

The last thing Wuxian remembers doing was babbling on about some new technique he wanted to try that he was working on perfecting with a talisman as he and Wangji walked through Caiyi Town, all while wishing the two of them were somewhere private, and then all of a sudden he’d found himself here without the other man by his side. Odd, but maybe the man was nearby and he would just have to ask around. Whoever’s nearest will get a barrage of questions from him.

“Ah, pardon me but have you seen a handsome... No, a beautiful looking man that looks like someone carved him from jade and wears all white? With a handsome face and wears an expression as if someone’s offended his wife? He wears a white ribbon on his forehead with clouds on it, and his eyes shine like two warm suns.”

Fields (Closed to Xue Yang, and then later open to Song Lan & Xiao Xingchen once wwx is dragged back to their place)

pt.1 (for Xue Yang)

The news that no one has seen anyone like Wangji makes Wuxian begin to panic a bit as he chases every pristine white piece of clothing until he loses sight of it, even if he’s only imagining it in his mind of how much he doesn’t want to believe that he’s there alone. He doesn’t do being alone anymore, it doesn’t sit right with him, and it doesn’t do good for him since he knows he won’t sleep well or at all without Wangji by his side. It’s evening, and he’s now found himself out in some field away from the city he’s learned is called Gazin, and he’s getting tired but refuses to sleep. Damn that weaker body of his for tiring out quicker.

By the time it’s late at night or even almost morning, Wuxian is barely standing upright as he’s forcing himself to keep going, but feels his feet giving out from under him as he falls backwards onto something with a thud and an “mmph” as he hits whatever he landed against.

Pt.2 (now including Song Lan & Xiao Xingchen)

He doesn’t remember falling asleep, but once he awakes, Wuxian is trying to catch his breath as if he’d experienced a nightmare and sits upright. Not fully aware of it himself, he’d loudly called out for Wangji the moment he awoke. He’s in an unknown place and that doesn’t do much of any good for his already existing panic of not being able to find Wangji. He’s also missing Suibian from his waist and doesn’t see Chenqing either, in fact he’s just in an under robe without anyone in sight. The only thing in his hand is the jade token he’d been gripping onto, the only physical thing with him from the Cloud Recesses. He wanted to get up and leave to continue his search, but his tired body was protesting, so he reluctantly just lays back down in a huff holding the token close to his chest.

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All of these answers just keep giving him more questions, enough so that he's distracted enough not to want to stab Xue Yang. Yet. He couldn't be too careful and wouldn't get very far with a dead man, especially if he didn't know if he could do the same things with such a weak body in this new place.

But no matter, he's listening, confused as he is to the other. "I... Guess that makes enough sense." Even if it still seemed almost impossible. "You mean that guy, Bhalris? The one I understood after he did something when I was asking around for Lan Zhan?"

Xue Yang creates so many questions. He's great that way~

He still nods. "Yeah. Good! That'll make things easier."

But there's something about this man that reminds him of himself, beyond the obvious penchant for cheek and the darker path of cultivation. Something...fragile and wounded. Hidden, he decides, studying Wuxian for a quiet few minutes.

"You don't have to hold back with me, Senior. I can take it. Bottling everything up helps no one, and hurts you and those who love you."

Well that explains how he was finally able to understand the language if Bhalris was the one that did whatever magic it was to let him have a sudden fluency in it.

But that next bit sends a chill down Wuxian's spine, being read like a book so easily when he did his best to hide all of his pain from everyone, even from Wangji at times because he didn't want people to worry about him, especially when those were people he loved. He could do it on his own, he'd done that long enough and it worked fine. Until it didn't, and literally backfired in his face.

"What are you talking about? You and everyone else, you worry too much, I'm FINE! Where was this worry before from you people?" The last words come out in more of a snapped, pained laugh than he even realises. It pulls bitter feelings he had before at Nightless City when someone he deemed insignificant spouted things about having respected him as he was being demonised at the same time.

He knows. And he knows how hard it is to have the layers peeled back, to have one's soul laid bare before anyone. Lan Wangji isn't here to hold Wei Wuxian together, which leaves...

Xue Yang.

His method is just painful though. Calm and poking at all the things people don't like poked at. That laugh hurts though and he nudges the cup of tea at Wuxian again.

"Most people don't dare poke at things that need poked at. That's why the main clans disgust me - all up in their high towers with rules and how everyone must act...No real care for what they're hiding as long as it's kept hidden. All their dirty little secrets."

He shrugs, gaze remaining on the other man, a quick little smile that doesn't even try to touch his eyes. "I've been there. My Daozhangs pulled me from all that pain and loneliness. And I'm here now. I'd have only hurt you before, Senior. But I can help now."

He's stubborn, wanting to refuse that prodding and put ten more walls back up in the place of the one he could feel coming down without his permission. No. No one needed to see this, but he just can't bring himself to shut the pain down. It was already surging with every word spoken, and already being in a state of anxiety not finding Wangji wasn't helping whatsoever.

It doesn't stop him from trying, even when he takes the tea and sips it, knuckles going white as he tenses. Glaring. Even reluctantly agreeing. He had his own anger towards those rules and regulations, having had things spat at him growing up about bringing Yunmeng to ruin by Madam Yu or being balked at for wanting to defend the remaining Wens who had done no wrong other than having the Wen surname! It infuriated him! Not to mention the numerous reprimandings he received for not carrying his sword.

"Jin clan knew all about hiding and lying to keep what they wanted hidden after the Sunshot Campaign and killing Wen Ruohan. They wanted all of the remaining Wens dead and tortured them, but they kept Wen Ning around because he was my 'greatest weapon' and wouldn't dare destroy him. Sect leader Jin coveted my creations while hating me." He spat, resentments boiling. Things he told himself he wasn't bothered about anymore, but really all lies to stop from dwelling on it now that he had another chance and his name was cleared.

He flinches at the other saying he could help. He didn't need the pity, even if what Xue Yang was saying wasn't pity, it was missed on him at that moment. Like a wounded animal fearing for its life. "What could you do? What could you hope to help with?"

Xue Yang keeps the smile of success back as the tea is picked up and sipped at. He knows this is hard. He knows. But he also knows...those walls need to be clawed down if his dear Senior is to feel even remotely better until Wangji shows up.

He nods, listening, agreeing to the points Wuxian mentions. He sips his tea too, a knee bouncing a little as he works off just enough of his energy to hold mostly still. The resentful energy he'd once been infused with is much less these days. Thanks to Zichen's diligent tutelage, care, and encouragement.

"Give you someone to scream at. To listen to you. You don't have to worry about hurting my feelings," he gives a rather sharp grin. "And if you want to throw punches, I can take it. I'll duck and dodge unless you're better than you were at our last fight." When Wuxian had sent someone else to fight him. Huff.

A cocky little grin finally reappears. "I would say you can stab me all you want if it helps, but I can't let that happen anymore. It upsets my Daozhangs." He doesn't care about the actual being stabbed part - it's the hurting Song Zichen and Xiao Xingchen that he doesn't want to do. Ever again.

They've been through enough because of him.

Those walls just keep falling with each word spat, one going up and three more falling. It would be one thing if Wangji was the one who he was crumbling in front of, he could allow that vulnerability even if he didn't want to and keep smiling instead.

"Oh how wonderful, someone wanting to listen to me NOW! Where was that before it got me turned on and blamed for everything? Before I died? Even if a lot of those things are true, I did bring ruin to everyone I cared about." There's that bitter stab at himself, that no matter what he'd always blame certain deaths and suffering on himself. Those words had always stung when told to him in his teenage years.

Wuxian's eye twitches as he glares daggers at Xue Yang's calm, cocky demeanor, further angering him. Something about the other reminds him of himself and he's not quite sure of it until it hits him: That's how he himself was in his teens before losing his core, that cockiness of challenging everyone and boasting about it.

And being goaded on helps very little. He finishes the tea, takes a deep breath and exhales, falling for the taunt and throws a punch. Invitation or not, he would have lunged at Xue Yang no matter what.

One by one by one. He listens as he has been since the start of this reunion. Curious, attentive...unrelenting.

Xue Yang chuckles as Wuxian lashes out at him with words, sensing it's just a little closer to where he'll feel better about not keeping a close eye on his dear senior. Too calm and cocky for Wuxian's liking, and he keeps that up easily. Challenging the other man to let go.

And - ah! There it is! He sees how Wuxian finishes the cup of tea and bothers to even set the cup down. So he follows suit, setting his cup down too. And there's a fist coming his way - he rolls to his feet, away to dodge it with a playful little flourish.

"You had it all, then you gave and gave and gave and...now you have nothing?" He sighs, waiting for the expected lunge. "Everyone dies, Senior. Other people helped speed your death along."

It doesn't matter that he missed the punch, he's pissed enough to know that he wouldn't have been as accurate against someone like Xue Yang. After all, it wasn't like when he'd punched the insufferable peacock. The words about giving all he had doesn't set him off much further either, he knows he did. Gave everything he could and was painted as a monster for all his efforts.

"Even when I DID 'have it all', it still wasn't the cushy life you'd think it was! I gave all I had to an ungrateful world." He growls, but the second Xue Yang says those two extremely painful words, he tunes the rest of it out. That hit too close to home. Too personal. His voice chokes, fury and pain flashing in his eyes as he jumps up and lunges.

"NOT EVERYONE SHOULD HAVE DIED. SHE DIDN'T DESERVE TO AND IT'S MY FAULT! I LEFT HER SON MOTHERLESS AND FATHERLESS!" Now he's shouting, his biggest regret erupting forward.

Angry enough that Wuxian isn't fighting his best, and Xue Yang knows it. And he knows he's right, which hurts too.

Still, he holds his composure. Watching. Waiting. Listening. Most of all, listening. He rolls out of the way of that lunge, using Wuxian's momentum if he needs to.

"Is it?" He asks, curious. "Are you sure you weren't just the vessel? You were convenient, I'm sure. Big bad Yiling Patriarch, ooooo...."

Were his thoughts clearer and mind not clouded by pain and rage, he would be giving it his all to punch, and perhaps do worse to Xue Yang. He can feel the resentful energy boiling within him and the weak, but still there, combatting them. Lucky for them both he was reincarnated into someone with a core.

He keeps lunging, glaring with pure hatred at the other, eyes giving away a pained killing intent.

"What the hell do you even mean by that? You're LUCKY I don't have my original body, you'd see how 'bad' I was that made everyone fear me." He spits those words out, hatred and mocking at himself and Xue Yang both.

He keeps dodging until, inevitably, a punch lands and he stumbles back with a grimace. But it's really not all that strong, is it? His poor Senior is missing most of his strength, and it shows.

"Is that all you can manage?" He asks with a bit of a huff, tilting his head to eye the other man. "We should work on your strength. My core isn't that strong yet, but I can still hit harder." It's stronger than it had been, thanks to Zichen's efforts in actually teaching him.

It still spurs him to leap forward, to pounce and restrain the other if he succeeds. "You should rest more, Senior. You'll feel better if you do."

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Arrival and panic (OTA)

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Gods... Just punt him already, bind him up and let him scream all night 😂

/snicker